A walk with Jesus

好久不见啦！

2012-01-03T04:59:00.001+08:00

有没有看过我用华文写的部落格啊？我其实有好多东西想写啦，但是有些已记不起来了。今年，二零一二年，我就决定要用华文学部落格了！哈哈，惊讶吧？我呢，至于为什么要这样做是因为要习惯用华文写作，准备着下两年要读的高中的华文。

我也是心血来潮才做了这个决定的啦。应该是因为最近看了太多台湾偶像剧吧？哈哈，总之呢，以后多要开始习惯读华文的部落格咯！

我想对我不会读华文的读者们说对不起呀！I'm sorry! >< 但我想我也不会有多少读者啦，但如果有请继续回来读我的部落格啦！我是非常感谢你的！

说到这里，我也最后想要说声抱歉！因为我的华文其实也不好啦，但我也现在开始要努力进步了！

好啦，就到这儿。已经凌晨五点了！晚安！:)

God

2011-12-10T10:48:00.001+08:00

He is just the most wonderful. :) the most beautiful God. One and only. I'm not ashamed of the Gospel Lord! I will never stop praising. Oh, lovely God, You are my freedom, Jesus You're the reason I'm kneeling again at Your throne. :') I love You Jesus.

Another passge.

2011-12-03T14:04:00.001+08:00

***

Matthew 13

The Parable of the Sower

¹ That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. ² Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. ³ Then he told them many things in parables, saying:“A farmer went out to sow his seed. ⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. ⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. ⁹ Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

¹⁰ The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”

¹¹ He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. ¹² Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. ¹³ This is why I speak to them in parables:

“Though seeing, they do not see;
though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

¹⁴ In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:

   “‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
   you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
¹⁵ For this people’s heart has become calloused;
   they hardly hear with their ears,
   and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
   hear with their ears,
   understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’^[a]

¹⁶ But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. ¹⁷ For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

¹⁸ “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: ¹⁹ When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. ²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ²² The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²³ But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

***

I always love when God uses the Bible to speak to me. I really don't know why but it just means a lot more then just typically "feel" like that's what God is saying. But this time God lead me to this chapter and the verse that hit me was

²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.

The verse pretty much reminded me of myself. All the time I'm like that, and I realized that what this parable mean is not just where you sow your seed (seed as in your offering), but also the condition of your heart when you come before God. It revealed so much to me that when I change my heart and be the "good soil" doors will be opened and all the seeds I have planted is going to bloom. By seed I meant my building funds, pledges and offerings. The Bible says all about the 30 fold, 60 fold or even 100 fold return, but I've been waiting for the return but it never returns. I just thank God I still believe my day will come. Faithfully sowing la. Still, sometimes I feel like I'm pledging myself into debts. But I never realized what was the problem until that day God showed me. It was my heart towards God. I don't wanna be the rocky ground.

***

Secondly, I'm like the most known obsessed Bieber fan among everyone I know. Even the other Bieber fans don't talk about him as much as I do. People start telling me to not make Bieber like the focus of my life. Of course I say Bieber is not the focus of my life! I'm not that silly to make someone I don't even know personally the centre of my life. I thought that to myself. So many of my friends told me to always put God above all else. Of course I agreed! Cause I didn't think I'd be so silly to love Bieber more than God. Then recently it hit me. That way I defend Bieber, the way I talk about Bieber, the amount of times I talk about Bieber definitely is more than the amount of times I even just think of God.

Very wrong.

Convicted la. Repent. I know I sounds so silly. Loving a celebrity more than God is just plain dumb. But it happened to me. I'm sorry God. So I'm going on a fast. A Bieber fast. LOL. I know, I still sound silly. But I think it's necessary for me. To learn to be independent of Bieber. LOL! So from tomorrow onwards I shall not even speak of Bieber or even listen to Bieber songs. Arghh.. gona be tough but I will persevere. Hehe.

***

Anyway, today is one of the most unproductive day I have ever had! I'm so bored and I'm starting to get restless!! I even googled, "meaningful things I can do for God" I know, I know. Pretty weird. Yeah thanks. But I'm surprised no one came up with an idea of writing down meaningful things for people can do for God each day! Because when I googled it, nothing relevant came up! So I think, I'll be the first to start posting "meaningful things for people can do for God" every morning when I wake up in.... TUMBLR! :D Yay! We'll see when I'll launch this thing la. Hehehe.

I think that's all I have for today, at least I produced a blog post today! Thanks for reading. Good bye! :)

Slave in Christ

2011-11-30T14:29:00.001+08:00

Dear diary,

Y 6 DAYS NO PASS BY SLOW SLOW ?!

***

Hello, I am back to share with you what I learned in camp. :)

So on the first day what Marianne shared was really thought provoking. She said we are all SLAVES of God. We are all usually used to the word servant which sounds a little better than the word slave. But, eventually I got used to the word. So I posted a status about it when I came home.

What Marianne shared was that the truth is we should not call ourselves leaders! Because there is only 1 true leader which is Jesus Christ. Well, needless to say the word "slave" got people's attention. Honestly, even I didn't like the word. But the whole idea of being a slave is to be humble and to be totally submissive to God. Serving with a humble heart that we know we are serving God and serving others. :) Well, more than just a servant because we belong to God. :)

noun

a person who is the property of and wholly subject toanother; a bond servant.

a person entirely under the domination of some influence orperson: a slave to a drug.

Well, now being a slave doesn't seem so bad? A person who is the property of and wholly subject to God. And a person entirely under the domination of God's influence or just plainly God.

Doesn't sound that bad, right? But as much as we get to choose whether we are a servant of God, we also got the freedom of choice, whether we are a slave of God.

What Marianne said really convicted me to follow closely to Christ. She said

" It's either you are a slave to righteousness if not you know who you are a slave to la. [the devil] "

It made me make a firm decision to be Holy. :P sounds so funny la, but true. :3

The sessions reminded me of the importance of the Gospel. Like, why are we Christians? What are we living for? It really reminded me a lot of the basics. Loving your neighbour, citizenship in heaven, life's purpose and God's awesomeness. Well, this camp reminds us about the basic things that we have forgotten or just neglected. Nevertheless, it was still very inspiring.

Well, this is as far as I can go so far. A little post on what I learn and there will be certainly more to come but I can't promise when it will be post up. bye! :)

NSCFL. :)

2011-11-28T18:49:00.001+08:00

NSCFL 2011

I never expected this camp to be so awesome really. Until..

"Claire Ma Tzi Ying youu going? who else going?! :D seriously one of the best camps i've went! :]"

Well, that's one of the things that got me hyped up for camp. :)

Packed and all that. Couldn't wait for camp. Was so nervous. Hehe. Anticipating what God has installed for me in this camp. The first day was just ok, just pass the border line. Honestly, I didn't really like camp on the first day but things started to improve. Loved each and every night session and everyday I would be looking forward for the post-mortem with the Michael Chang-s. :) Su Jian, our team coach is the best man! Every night he would have food waiting for us. Oreos, roller coasters, siew pau, and we demanded beef noodles! Su Jian told me he wanted to buy the beef noodles but his friend got stuck in the highway so tak jadi go buy for us. So nice right?! Haha. Would post a picture of him but I can't find his Facebook yet.

Other than that, here are the list of my teammates:

Chai Tze Kwang

Lim Jay Yen

Sophia Liew

Jason Low

Daniel Chua

Jia Chi

Angelica

Zi Ying

WONG SI JIN (The cutest girl there. :D)

I really had fun there. Met new people, learnt new things. Mainly the thing that spoke to me most is to serve God with the heart of a slave. :) I went for a few different workshops and well, I learnt the heart of worship and how to evangelize. The unforgettable one was the worship workshop. Amazing, a real brand new experience in worshipping God.

this is Patrick Leong. :)

Patrick Leong is really a great worship leader. I would love to explain my worship experience with you but it's really just beyond what words can explain for me. Evangelism was good, learnt to evangelize even just through your fingers! :D

The first day, I met my group members and my roommate Akira! :D

And this is Akira! :D

After the whole camp I kind of regretted not being more sociable to make more friends. It's ok, I have next year's camp! Hehe. Anyway, the first few days I mostly stick to my own Seafield CF people.

This is Watson. :P

But Bryan Watson Cheng, our CF president made us disperse and go made new friends while our meals, as in sitting with people from other CF or YF. Even though I did sat with different people almost all my meals after that I didn't really make any friends. :/ Hmm, regret la. Should have tried harder. The few I can remember that I made friends through meals are... Joel, Jie Hui, Oon Hui, Jacelyn, Lucas, Ravern, Jacquelina, Yew Leung, Fern, Sarah and .. .. .. I don't remember already! Paiseh! :3 Can see how fail it was la, it's ok, I have next year! :) My last year already.

Oh oh oh! Btw, we celebrated Joshua's birthday at camp! It was fun planning the surprise for him. As the CF birthday coordinator, this is the third surprise I planned so far for the committee members. The first was Serene, Watson (:P) and now Joshua. Yeah, I admit I missed some committees' birthday but don't think you can expect me to remember everyone's birthday right? Sorry la, if I forgot your birthday, you are still so very special to me la hor. :3 anyway, we bought tons of junk food and stick little post it-s on the junk food as a little card for him. Hehe. There's a video on fb. Ah, go look for it yourself la. :P

Anyway......

And this our ever so handsome team leader. :)

Haha, no la. This is Tze Kwang and he has one of the most lamest jokes I have ever heard! He's really nice and I see great potential in him. :) A great friend to have. Hehe. Hope to see him some day soon.

But, the person that really made an impression was Lim Jay Yen! Haha. My group member. I remember one of the days I was bathing and Wen Ting was in the stall next to me. We were talking about him and I was telling her my impression of him, mana tau, outside the stalls, there was a girl named Beatrice. Hehe, yes, I found out who told him! :p she was his friend and told him about our conversation. I don't remember the exact conversation but, the main parts are

First impression : Bunny, Rabbit!

So that's Jay, and the one on top is Tarzan. :)

Haha, but you got to agree with me that he somehow looks like a bunny. :P
He's also a nice guy! :)
Yellow shirt, white specs and what not.

It was hilarious when he confronted me about it on the last day's breakfast. They thought I was talking about BARNEY! The purple dinosaur! Funny la. :) But, he really is a nice person apart from the fact that he doesn't like Justin Bieber. :) Camp drama. xD But I must say he is my favourite person in camp la but I don't remember why. :P hehe. I fail yet again.

I would love to say more about what I learnt in the whole camp in detail but it would take me really long, so I'll just wrap everything up by saying it was the BEST . CAMP . EVER ! A great learning experience, and I absolutely love the people I met there. So nice. :B hehehe.

If any of my fellow campers are reading, let me just say I MISS YOU BANYAK. :'(

Alright, that's it for now. Will explain each session and what I learnt in new posts some other day.

Till then!

To heck with being a caring human being.

2011-11-12T17:50:00.001+08:00

Dear diary,
Today I'm fed up to the extreme limits.

***

I really don't know what to say and what I could say or how to explain this feeling. I'm just upset and angry and just plain FED UP.

Have you ever try to be caring for someone and ends up the person doesn't even give a crap about you? Like seriously?!

But, I really think I get over stuff a lil too easily. Really. OMG. I just can't stand ignoring someone that matters to me yet made me angry.

SiJin, get your butts together and do what you need to do.

Anyway, sorry for posting this little rant. I have much to rant about but the other posts are not public-friendly. One day la, when I find the time and the right words. I will post it up.

TO HECK WITH BEING A
CARING HUMAN BEING!!!!!!

DIM GAI?!

2011-11-12T02:12:00.001+08:00

Dear blog,

today, I realized something.

***

He's having a party and I'm invited. But, rehearsals and the party clashes.

#dimgaimoments

I believe I look like this in my heart, seriously.

I'm so emo about this, I feel like crying. K, maybe not that bad, still, I'm very disappointed with this realization. "WHY?!" I was looking forward to it. Really, I was really really looking forward to it. You don't have any idea how disappointing it is to look forward to something so much and realize that you can't make it.

It tears me apart. -.-

Anyway, what sucks more is darling Loveen Tan Tan, don't understand how I feel. :(

#heartbreak. I'm not desperate darling. It's ok, I guess you might not really understand how it feels like.

4 things.

2011-11-10T03:14:00.001+08:00

Hello. :) I'm back. I feel this is the best way to express myself now. Blogging. I have 4 things to talk about.

First, today I went to church for a special midweek service with Pastor Robb Thompson. He's an AMAZING preacher. The last time he came I remember I was late and sat at the overflow. So I didn't really pay attention. Man, I MISSED OUT!

Pastor Robb talked to us about tithing and generosity these 2 days. Definitely changed my perspective on my money.

"Never EVER love money more than you love Jesus."

I learned just SO SO SO much in these 2 days. God has been so real and Pastor Robb's teaching is just amazing. I just wish I could listen to his teaching every week. Can't wait till the next time he comes back.

"Do you have money, or does money have you? "

I've learned it really is hard to let go of your money. You may think you can give it ALL up for Christ, you give your time, your energy, but are you willing to give your money? I mean ALL of it. Also, I have learn that it truly is better to give than to receive, in other words, Better to meet a need, than to have a need. Reflecting on my past financial difficulties, I swore to myself, never again will I be the one who has the need.

Remember how when people give you offering challenges? They always mention sowing and reaping? give and it will be given back to you? Take giving at a different perspective now, when you have nothing left, you last cent in your pocket, when you give it, at the time you already don't need anything else but God. See, people in that kind of give every cent up for God situation, if they are willing to give up the last cent, what they want is no longer the return, but they just want God.

"When you give up your last penny to God, what you're saying is, the only thing I need is God now."

Don't overestimate yourself, giving is not easy. Always have to stretch our faith and exercise our giving "muscle".

"If you don't feel uncomfortable when you're giving, you're not giving enough."

***

Second, today has been a rough day. Surprisingly the last day of school, was caught off guard. Will definitely miss my classmates. :/ But, that's not the point. After service, we had rehearsals for BGR sketch.

I did do my best I can say honestly, but, there were many technical difficulties that we had to overcome but we weren't able to do it all by tonight. The whole sketch was pretty much not prepared cause our sketch depended on the media stuff a lot.

Well, technical difficulties, first strike. Albert was really stress, second strike. Leader didn't make firm decisions, briefing and directions, last strike, and you're out! We all pretty much got scolded. Had a super sour face when Adrian talked to us, wasn't trying to conceal my sadness. I mean, what for I conceal it? Wanted to cry. Really sad la. But, it's ok, life isn't a bed of roses, everything will get better. :)

***

Third, planned sleepover and it turned out great, we said we wanted 40 people, indeed 40 turned up even though we really didn't expect it to happen. :)

This has been a real learning experience. Next time will definitely know better of how to plan things.

These 2 months has really been a month of learning.

1) Leaders listen to your members, they can always help you out.

2) While planning something event or whatever, brief EVERYONE that is involved about how and when and what is going to happen.

3) Only God can make everything work.

4) etc. So much more that idk how to explain.

Basically, God is always faithful and without Him nothing is possible.

***

Lastly, after all seriousness, let's loosen up a bit. :) Shake it off, shake of the stress~~

Anyway, what imma talk about is something I've been thinking of blogging about it really long now. It's about this guy. *snicker snicker* Hehehehehehehe.

Well, he's nice... but give me your views on this, he's not a Christian and you know I feel if I even do anything about this crush it's like betraying God. Yet people tell me I'm just a girl, in my teenage years, what can I do about all these raging hormones. Haha. Others say, if he loves you, he will follow you to church, yet, what I want is for him to love God that's why he goes to church rather than love me that's why go church. Maybe......

“A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
― Maya Angelou

Would be nice to choose God over a guy, but it's hard. Who do I want? Jesus or him? He is earthly and mortal but Jesus is for eternity and definitely loves me more. Jesus is the right choice, but temptation. *shakes head* I WANT GOD. I WANT GOD. GOD GOD GOD GOD. To want and need God ONLY is hard. A challenge but I will try.

What do you want in this life? Can you choose to want God more than anything else?

"If someone loves you, that person ought to want you."

Same goes if you love God. :)

***

All comes down to God. Jesus be the centre of it all. To want God the most, to love God the most and even to praise God in down times. :)

iOS 5

2011-11-08T03:15:00.000+08:00

Hello. :) Am currently on my dad's Mac updating my blog. Was about to update my iPhone program to iOS 5 and just realized I have some apps that I just downloaded and I don't think I wanna lose them. Currently using the iOS 4. I'm pretty satisfied with iOS 4 but no harm improving. I've read reviews about the iOS 5 and they said the updating process is definitely a torture and pain in the butt but, after all that we'll be greeted with a great relief. I also read that the notification manager is a life saver.. did iPhone copy that from andriod? Cause it seems like andriod had that feature first.. Doesn't matter, at least iPhone is still and awesome phone. :) Can't wait till my brother get's off the computer so I can backup my apps and get on with my iOS update.

***

an unfinished blog post. :P Thought I just post it up anyway. :)

The feeling God gives me.

2011-11-03T01:33:00.001+08:00

Security, like a personal body guard.
Loved, like inseparable lovers but He's living in my heart.
Legitimacy, like a daughter.

How God never fails to always love us. How we do not need to be afraid because we always know He is looking after us. The beautiful God who is surprisingly interested in my life.

Who am I? That you care that much for my life.

Sorry I forget Your greatness and power over my world. The way You hold my world securely in You mighty hands.

Most importantly sorry for thinking I know how much You love me.

You make all things work together for my good. :)

God is someone we know we can go back to anytime, anywhere and in any situation. His love never fails. We can only be whole with God in our lives.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?

2011-10-18T16:13:00.002+08:00

Just because this cold cold world saying we can't be,

Baby, we both have the right to disagree, And i ain't with it.

***

Hello, I am finally back! HEY! Blogger looks different. Haha

Anyway, PMR has ended and that's pretty obvious la. But things are getting kinda weird, K, maybe weird is not the word to describe but I'm using it anyway. [whatyougondoaboutit?!]

So we all pretty much heard the saying of "what comes around goes around". Guess I kinda believe it now. Well, kinda.

The story is not safe to be disclosed so, sorry guys. But basically, if you do mean stuff to some else with another person. That other person would most likely do it to you too. But you can't blame anyone, you condoned stuff like that first.

Well, I so feel it now. And it's definitely a pain!

Moving on, like my new layout? Hehe. It's definitely a layout easier to use because it's......

Haha. Anyway, recently haven't been doing much devotion. Dull walk with God. Not because I don't want to, I want to! But I'm just not discipline. It all comes back to where is God placed in my life. I guess it's the environment. Okay, I know I sound like I'm blaming everyone around me for my own laziness. But it was when I was in form 2, a pretty radical me looked around in church, CF and all and nobody was being a difference. Resulting me thinking maybe what I was doing wasn't important. And thought maybe their way of being a Christian is the normal and best way to be. But slowly I realized that maybe it isn't, somehow I miss the old and crazy-going-all-out me.

But these things are easy to lose but hard to regain. Need the guidance of God. Yet, God doesn't need a child who is doing so much for Him and end up no actual time to just spend time with Him to ber-bonding. Life la. The irony.

Apart from all that, boys. *shakes head* Hahaha. They mess me up. Yet been said to let go but didn't do so. Maybe it wasn't meant to be I guess. :) Accept the fact.

Leaving all the thinking behind, after PMR, so far I have watched 4 movies. Haha. Not bad la all the movies I watched. I definitely satisfied a lot of my pre-PMR craving and gain post-PMR loves, which is..

Isn't he just so CUTE! ♥ Heck yeah I'm in love with this dude. I saw him in The Three Musketeers(which also stars Orlando Bloom). And man even with his long hair he is freaking HOT. :3 Other than that watched Real Steel. Real Steel was definitely the best movie among the 4 movies I watched. Oh gosh, Dakota Goyo. ♥ But despite of Dakota's cuteness, Real Steel is still very much a must watch movie. :)

So this is a the list of movies I watched with their posters. Really la, all the movies I watch was good. If you have enough time, do check it out.

Johnny English Reborn, Watched it right after PMR. Laughed thru the whole movie. xD

Real Steel, watched it on the night of the last day of PMR. A must watch movie!

What's Your Number, an 18 movie that is just ok, nice but not extremely awesome.

The Three Musketeers, watched it with Kar En and Serene on the Kar En's birthday. Hehe. And so I met d'Atagnan. ♥

So guess that's for now. :) I'll be updating more. Sorry If you're reading my blog for the first time and it's boring, just bear with me. :) This post is just a boring update, in the near future, will blog deeper. :)

See you round!

New blog skin. :)

2011-10-17T17:41:00.001+08:00

Hello. Been awhile. Yes, will be back soon to update.

Stay tuned! :)

Thanks giving. :)

2011-07-26T12:54:00.003+08:00

Heeeeeeeee. :B

I thought of giving up this blog but was really encourage by a friend la. :) So this blog will go on.

Reading back my post even the ones i wrote before I met Christ is really cool la. Just to see how far God has brought me. Honestly, if without God I don't know how I came this far or just survive. God is just very the awesome. Gave me good friends that care. And people to teach me my identity in Christ. I remember when I was still an insecure girl. (Or maybe I still am?) I easily blame and cause problem with the people close to me for not giving me enough attention but with God and Adrian I overcame that. Seeing how long I have believed in Jesus Christ really amazed me. I never was committed to anything so long. You know? It's been 2 years. Okay, maybe not very long but I feel it's really something God can provide that keeps me wanting to come back to have more each and every time I serve in CF, CG and soon church. And I don't think I will stop loving God any time soon. Beautiful isn't He?

God is the wonderful. :) My church is moving into our new building!!!

I AM GENUINELY EXCITED.

I can't wait till the opening which is just this WEEKEND! Crazy man! I can't believe this day is so near already. Pastor and the team has been working so hard for this building to come to past so I will do my job to keep praying for the church and the building. Growth is gona come. I can just smell it, well, shouldn't only smell it, but also contribute to it! So if you sit on the toilet bowl in church, I shall look at you and say...

"What you doing sitting on my toilet bowl? -.-"

Oh yeahhhh~!!! just in case you guys didn't know, I , WONGSIJIN, contributed to building fund! So, yeah. Whatchu doing sitting on me toilet bowl?! Haha. Oh, sweet building! I CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T WAIT!

Oh and pluss! Rally is just this Saturday! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! I hope this rally will be better than last year's! What happened was, I had migraine half the whole rally.... -.-.....BUT! I prayed and demand the God take away the torturing migraine at rally that day, IT INSTANTLY WAS GONE! God is GOOD! :) Another miracle God Made happen. :)

Lastly, I FINALLY, and I mean FINALLY! Am going to start to serve in church! Took them long enough... Kay la, I don't blame anyone. :) I'm too nice chey. :P

6th August!

Mark down your calendar and come watch me serve. Lol, whatthecrap?! Hahhaha. Lameness overload. :P No la, I'm going to serve as an usher soon in church and I'm really excited to be part of the team la. :) Can't wait.

So that's it for now. :) Will update soon? If no, nudge me.

P/S: Skipped school to study today. :P

TATA! :D

Wonders.

2011-07-23T14:32:00.002+08:00

God is good all the time and all the time God is good. :)

:) check out a few post back, when talking about my financial situation I can just DIE. Seriously, like Adrian said in cell group if you talk to me about money and going out I might just bite your head off. But God is good. :) But what he said was Just keep praying. True.. Really, we might not know what kind of impact our prayers make. But don't treat prayer as like some vending machine lo. Remind yourself everyday that every prayer you make, Jesus died for it to happen. :) so, my financial status is not much in jeopardy now. Still not enough to fulfill my Over and Above pledge but we can take it slow. Let God remind me of priority. Where to put my money, how to use wisely. Use money to glorify God's name. And not forgetting to pay extra tithe this month. Really, this is a lesson learnt. Very EXPENSIVE lesson learnt but must be learnt indeed. God, not only educate me in love, faith, attitude but too in my spending. Plus, honor your father and mother. Also a law I failed to realize the importance of it. A father's prayer and mother's word is prophetic and powerful believer or not. Sometimes we just need to learn things the harder way. But anyway, life is getting better. I thank you Jesus, without you, I'd be still flat broke.

Jesus, beautiful saviour, God of all majesty the risen king. Lamb of God, holy and righteous. Blessed redeemer, bright morning star. :))

Yellow, I'm back again.

2011-07-16T20:10:00.002+08:00

Hello. I am back to blog again. So when I was thinking what to blog, all the events I've been tocame to my mind. Sidney Mohede, HTV LIVE, first time leading worship in CF, etc etc. Yepp, I realize I'm a busy busy girl! So feel lucky when I update my blog.

TEEHEE

So, I don't want my blog to be all about events events and events. Even I hate reading that kind of blogs. People read your blog I guess to know your thoughts, at least that's why I read people's blog. Plus, if it's about events isn't it like a bit shallow? :/

...

Anyway, what I was thinking about recently is about sin. We know when we have problems it's mostly caused when someone or even ourselves sin, right? But if we trust in God and pray to God, He will help us through the problem. And it's also a way for God to prove Himself strong to us. We also know when we sin like that it hurts God's heart. So, when we get to heaven and we don't sin or maybe we just don't sin like before The Fall like at the time of Adam & Eve we won't hurt the heart of God and everything would be perfect. Good? Yeah , I guess, but imagine that? Wouldn't our relationship with God will be a bit dull? :/ Of course God has a fun and joyous life but how? for us to live but without sin in the picture the world would be dull I guess? Imperfections make things beautiful in my opinion. So? Sin it hurts God but make our relationship with God interesting. Maybe God has another way to spice it up even without sin since God is all knowing? But why must it be interesting? Oh, stupid question. No such thing as a relationship if nothing is happening or it is boring. God has His way. But it all still comes down to this question. Why is sinning wrong while it spices up our relationship with God and through sin He had a chance to show His awesome love yet it hurt Him?

Get the question? Don't get it? Doesn't matter either. Trust God.

Sorry, I'm just a girl with a million complaints. :)

2011-07-05T00:22:00.002+08:00

Hello. :) I'm back again. I shall update what has been going on. Alright, so I've been really healthy for the past few month by really jogging and exercising. Am proud of myself. Then a run came! For the first time in my life I was ready for a marathon. Hahaha. Was extremely excited and couldn't wait. That night before the run I was at cell group. At the same time i was still excited cause I believe there was a chance for me to win. But excitement got hold of me and I jumped jumped jumped and *kelak* sprain my foot. Wow! Can't go for the run dy. -.- so yeah, I missed the run but went to school to look for my friends but all went to summit. Gila sien, go there limping while they were somewhere else enjoying. -.- anyway, thank God my foot is recovering and pretty fast too. ;) but am currently wearing slippers to school. :)

So as the title states, I have a million and one things to complain about. I have a friend, let call him/her Alex. Alright. So, this friend Alex is a liar. I'm extremely fed with him/her. He/she think he/she knows everything. Like please la. You claim to be a nice person who cares and is a good friend but you freaking lie to us all the time. What. Crap? You tryto take control of all your friends lives, tell them how life should be like and how to do things but you're there making a mess off your own life. What. Crap? The thing that I can't stand about he/she is that he/she lies ALL the time. Seriously, I don't trust you at all. You're a liar who thinks you know everything. Sorry to be judging but I'm really unhappy. Another friend, let's call her Sarah. She's nice and all but judging. And you know I try my very best to like you but everytime I try to talk about something fun, you judge me the minute I say a wrong word. It's like you're a secret spy judge looking out for my flaws and announcing it with a loud speaker. Before you guys call me a hypocrite, let me clear up that I have never complained about Alex to anyone. And even on this blog the name isnt disclosed. It's just like complaining about my cat or someone who doesn't exist while Sarah is different, she announces your wrong doing and error in front of everyone LIVE. what. Crap? You can't expect tojudge people so badly and embarrass people In front of others and still think they'll welcome you back with open arms. Even though that is WJWD but I as a human am not Jesus and not really able to accept you being so mean sometimes. Really. You hold your pride and you judge. Just like a Pharisees. Joke right you? Seriously. Dang it. Stop that crap. Act like you're a caring friend while being a pharisees towards me. Crap youuuu! Am annoyed to the max.

Okay, personal check point. I have not been discipline. :/ but I'm praying for it. >< omg. I need focus for pmr. Other than that, I also need to learn to be thrifty. Learn to save. :) well, stop complaining. This isn't anything beneficial to anyone yetwho says my blog has to be beneficial to someone. I need to let this out without spoiling anyone's reputation. :)

Okay, done with complaining. Bye.

Hello.

2011-06-26T22:51:00.009+08:00

Been away from blogger from quite sometime but well hello, I am back. :D

***

Okay, so recently my buddy Loveen Wong Tan went back to Malacca and dunno when will she be back. So when I first heard the news I was like :

"WHAT?!"

She said that she had to go there and look after her Grandma's construction work and to help out too. So that Sunday that she was leaving, she was supposed to wait at Pyramid like :

*sigh

Felt so sad for her. :/ She went for lunch with Adrian, Michelle and Darius and told them that she would be staying back in pyramid to wait. But, I believe it was Adrian who went like :

"Hey, why not you go over to Si Jin's house? :D"

So she called me to ask, I went to ask my mom and she said yes! I was sitting at home waiting for her to come over like :

"can't wait!!!!"

Well, maybe more like :

"time to CLEAN UPPPP!!!"

Cleaned so hard litterally blood, sweat and tears. :O

While she was on the car like :

"NYAN, NYAN, NYAN, NYAN, NYAN ... "

When she arrived we both were like :

So we both ran up to my room and guess what we did?! :D

*Partying, partying, YEAH!*

We both chatted, took some quizzes from CLEO magazine. Hahaha, Had a good time talking about stuff. TEEHEE.

So it was time for her to leave, I went like :

" WAHHHHHHH!! Don't ever leave me alone..! "

But we were forced to be seperated. :(( So told her my last words.

So now I miss her like a man mad, maybe like this :

*I, nom nom nom, miss, nom nom nom, loveen*

So till she's back I'll be dancing solo...

Yeah Loveen, I miss you. :))

p/s : Yes, this is like a Gladys Tan's bootcamp blog post format. Hee. Not easy.

Stuff. Stress..

2011-06-10T01:32:00.004+08:00

I was kinda happy to blog just now actually but suddenly the topic of my finances came into my mind and I feel like dying. Omg. >< Stress. Life is actually good but when I think about my current state in finances... Arghh.. Stress.. So many things... arghh.. WHY SIJIN?! No more mood to blog dy. Well, it's not the end of the world. :/ I guess.. be optimistic a bit. That was a WRONG move. Money ... why are you just so important in this world? WHY?! Stress..... God, HELP!! :( What should I do now! :( This is not easy and quite unbearable for me. STRESS... nobody can help me.. God, how now?

arghh, bye.

Well, hello there. :)

2011-06-07T23:42:00.002+08:00

Hello, beens awhile since I blogged. Over 2 weeks dy right? I know that. Let's just blow of the dust.

*BLOWS*

All better. :) I said I'd update on what happen to my aunt. Yepp, she passed away. I didn't know that until my mom told me. Well, I didn't manage to go to her funeral but still, thank you for all the prayers and do not let faith be shaken by this. God has His purposes for these things. Why? I don't know, cause His ways are higher than mine.

Well, am in a quite neutral state. Not in a down moment or a high moment with God currently la. Fire not VERY strong but also not dead. I still love God. But God has remind me if I'm gona live a life like this what is the difference between a non-believer and me? Well, that I have salvation? Not good enough la. Working for it. :)

Other than all these, my holidays have started and more than half way through. Been extremely busy the last week. Let's recall what have I been doing each day of the week.

Monday, KUALA PILAH with my loves, 3Damai.

Tuesday, Same thing as Monday.

Wednesday, props making for FB LIVE.

Thursday, tuition day. :)

Friday, Jiemin's house. Swimming jellyfish style! Haha

Saturday, usher orientation & X-men with Nat, Huijie and Taiyuan.

Sunday, Church & FB LIVE!

FRUITFUL! And all the busy-ness paid off. :) This week a bit dead but more of studying and tuitions. Let's continue that way. Hehe. Other than that, have been jogging and exercising a lot more recently. :) Which is good. The first time almost passed out, second time normal. Third time, lack of oxygen, again almost passed out. Haha. Nice 1 sijin!

Another update, am currently planning a BBQ with my classmates. :D Can't wait til that day. :)

Rights, have so much to write but it's late dy. Should sleep dy. Goodnight. :)) More stuff soon!

Let me crap about my girl stuff! TQ!

2011-05-23T16:33:00.005+08:00

Ahhh, it's time I pamper my skin! I'm starting to kumpul more and more acne scars! :(( Honestly, I feel like crying when I look in the mirror. :'( But, I've found a solution! :D Dalacin-T! Heard it really works and helps a lot! Plus, not randomly found off the net but recommended by a friend. So, I believe it will work. I don't care gona try it and pray my scars will go away!!!!!!!! AWAY AWAY AWAY!! I want nice skin again. :((

Secondly, my hair has been dropping a lot lately. :( So embarrassing when people notice. Bad shampoo la. :(( DON'T USE CLEAR SHAMPOO! It really sucks!!! I officially anti it!

Another product which I find useful, CINELLE! :D

Cinelle is very awesome! Works like dunno what like that. It's cures redness of acne and pimples. And helps in recovering scars. :D Sadly, mine is used up! :(( No worries! After Over and Above pledge will be able to buy again! :D

Kay, enough for girl stuff crapping. Goodbye. :)

p/s: Update on sick aunt soon, in short : She passed away already. Pray for her family yeah. :)

Numbness?

2011-05-10T23:12:00.002+08:00

Hello guys. Been quite sometime since the last time I was here. :) anyway, am in the midst of exams. It feels like pmr already. Can't wait for it to be over. Psssht..

Anyway, like I said, went to pray for my aunt. Went well, she has been feeling better. I don't know when will be the next time I'll be going to visit her again but will still continue praying for her. Pray along with with me aite? :) God is gona work miracles. another detail of the visit, my aunts and mom prayed together with me! Wohoo! Hahaah. Awesomeness! ;D

Into my topic, realize I'm not the most disciplined person I know. I slack crazy a lot. You'd know if you know me well. My small people-ness. Psssht. I suck, really. I slack a bit on devotion, but not as bad as last time but still kinda slacking. Studies too. I'm terrible. Anyway, not to talk about this but I guess this has caused me some numbness that I don't really hear God recently. In service, I can't seem to focus. Can't feel God. Ouish! What's my problem. Well, my spiritual life is going up and down because of my undisciplined self. Psssht. -.- oh God, help me change please. This is hard. Why am I just so lazy. Ouish... Discipline a bit sijin! Show people your big people-ness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pride or passion?

2011-05-06T18:08:00.002+08:00

So what I wanted to talk about in the previous post is pride or passion.

Well, I think this is the start of my great journey in life. I have chose to live a great life. I do not want to wimp out of anything that is God's will. Well, what's up is that my aunt has brain cancer and it's now in a very serious state and God ha called me to minister to her... Well, pray for her. I'm very afraid.

Let me just say to all the non-believers out there. Being a Christian won't make things in life a lot more easier but in fact it makes life harder. If you're a non-believer you don't have to go all out and do radical stuff, you can just laze around if that's your will. The difference is, Christians, we have God to depend on. A wonderful God who will always be there for us when we get hurt like any other human does. :) But as a Christian, obeying God. Omg.. Just look at Jesus, He is an example of obeying God. 'But nevertheless, you will Father, not mine' He didn't really want to die on that cross, see, we were this close to losing salvation but the wonderful Jesus loved us all so crazily enough to go to the cross.

Now what I'm facing is dilemma. Have already announced to like almost the whole world I have decided to pray for my aunt. Well, this is not a simple task as you think. I'm going mad and frustrated just thinking about it. I really wish I could just pull out and just choose the easy way not caring anything to pray for her. But that is the opposite of my decision to live a great life. If I pull out what kind of greatness is there still in me? I don't know. I need your prayers right now , 4 things.

1) The devil won't get to me enough to make me pull out.

2) Her family will let me pray for her.

3) She and by God's grace, her whole family will be touched and saved.

4) The main point of all these, she'll be miraculously healed.

I have never done such thing before , because, you see, what's special about this situation is that her family and herself is a really strong Buddhist family so I'm really scared la. God bless me. I don't wanna back out! Really just please keep me in prayers! And my aunt too! My choice to live a great life and God's will and not mine.

Pride or passion in this? Am I just doing this out of pride to show off or something or am I doing this because I have passion for God? Ponder..

Pride or passion?

2011-05-06T13:16:00.002+08:00

Hello! Am back and blogging with my wonderful phone again. Hehe. My nonsense cooled down a bit la but still freaking love this phone. :P oh shoot! Just realized I had to do something!! And I'm sitting here blogging. Wtfish... I'll be back on the com in awhile!

Might be some anger release

2011-05-01T23:01:00.002+08:00

Hey guys, am currently using my iPhone to blog. Hahaha. Love this phone crazy a lot. Well, I just notice this phone really distract me crazy a lot too. Which is not a good sign. Like, what's the point of having a phone which's purpose is to get you closer to people yet you neglect the people who around you in person. Doesn't make any sense. I should stop this nonsense, seriously.

Anyway, today is labour day. I can say today is a very happy day. I started of my day at church, which is the best way to start ones day honestly. Today Dr. Peter J. Daniel preached at CHCKL. He was absolutely awesome. He talked about leadership which really spoke to me. Like what is leadership? The thing that hit me was being a leader means being lonely. Sad but true. Paul was in prison alone, jonah faced the whale alone, David faced goliath alone. Well, I believe so. Like when you're a leader, don't expect people to like you at all. Very true. But one thing we must remember is what we're doing, glory goes to God. a very good sermon. :)

Well, after that Pastor Kevin spoke to the congregation like, I've never seen him that angry, he was kinda scolding all of us. But, we as a church needed that. He was really fed up with our do nothing attitude. Like I'm only a youth, cannot, I can't do it, I'm to weak, I'm too...... Etc. He's somewhat scolded us saying 'when I just ask you all to pray for yourself you don't even pray properly, how do you with such attitude think you wanna change the world. You can't even do what's good for yourself and you expect to change the world?!' he was really upset but that was what the church needed I believe. I started crying telling God that in these few months I will really work hard for excellence. A life is a life whether great, average or miserable. We make the choice. So yeah, today is a very good day. :) went shopping with family after service. Really left fruitful in material wise and relationship wise. :)

But yeah, I really thank God for Pastor Kevin to give us this wake up call letting us know that Christians aren't supposed to act like this. :) feels good to realize. Really thank God for everything. :)

Sincerity.

2011-04-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

You know what I realise I appreciate the most? Sincerity.

A friend once told me that she cannot tahan people who make friends and treat like a goal. Like after you get to know some people, quite close dy, ok, good, move on to a new friend then forget about the old friend. Same here la. Thinking about celebrities always facing people who are fake, sad right? Sincerity should be like a treasure for them. When people talk to you without sincerity it feels like crud right? Like you don't deserve true friendship meh? No what. Everyone deserve true friendship ma. A typical line of mine that I would say is "And this is where God comes in :)" Typical but true, Hehe.

Well, I have this friend which is quite cool. You know the kind of people who quite jaga image one? Then got the kind of image that is so-called perfect that you don't even dare to get close to them. Yeah, she has been quite caring for me but not sincere. When you're sincere, people feel it. Same goes when you're not. She's like the person I described up there. Goal-driven friendship. Now treat me like too good for me dy. Ahh, you ain't that cool anymore~

You know, you don't aim anything in a friendship! What is there to achieve? -.- what are you trying to gain? Insincerity sucks! I totally don't like people who are insincere. It's like you might as well don't even talk to me to save all this beh-song-ness. pffft.

Anyway, anybody even if you do so much for a person the person might appreciate it but it doesn't feel good at all. It suck in fact. It kinda cancels out everything that you did for them. Like the quote, it's the thought that counts. Yepp, without sincerity whatever you do doesn't matter dy.

Learn to be sincere. :) a real friend.

Future Oriented. :)

2011-04-18T00:08:00.002+08:00

Today's service was an awesome one. Sermon today was about being past empowered, present grounded and future oriented. Personally I think I'm a positive past & present oriented person which is not the best type to be. Positive past oriented is always thinking the past is better than present, bounded by the past. Have to let go la. Usually people learn to let go of the bad times but sometimes we also have to learn to move on from the past even if it's good times, shouldn't hold on to it too much. Basically, memories ok, but don't cling to it.

Present oriented? Easier to guess how it's like la.Maximum pleasure, minimum pain. Future? Think next time~ Based too much on Matthew 6:34? Haha, balance la, balance la. I'm very present oriented and slightly future fearing.

3 types, positive past & present oriented and future fearing. Bad combo. Haha.Do things last minute, think of consequences less. STUPID!

But the sermon help a lot to be more future oriented. So far, finally started studying for Mid terms so can say a bit more future oriented already? a bit la. Let's see how long I last. Haha, hope it last la huh? FUTURE ORIENTED A BIT!!!

Quote I remember, "If you refuse to move into your future, you'll be stuck"

Just like the children of Isreal, send spies go over to the promise land then say, "oh, God will bring us in, wah, all the giants, how to possess ah? Wait for God" Stupid, presently if you have task to complete yourself before you enter your future if you don't do anything about it, STUCK lo! I like this la. hehe.

2nd quote I remember is, "The devil will keeping speaking to you, telling you you're tired, go sleep la, 2 hours still ok 1 ma, you've got plenty of time"

What's this? Honestly, I'm guilty of giving in to this really often. In the end, waste gila banyak time. If you have a dream , you have passion, where got depend on mood one?! What's this?! Ahh, guilty of this too. I depend on mood too gila banyak also. Shows my present oriented self. JOKE!

Time to change to become a FUTURE ORIENTED person! ;D

TRUST?

2011-04-07T13:35:00.003+08:00

I want this post to be short. I have no mood to write a long 1. :)

Simply start to doubt God. Honestly speaking have not been doing my devotion. Caught up in other stuff. Very wrong, not right. I thought I could survive without it. Blinded. VERY WRONG. I hope no one else needs to experience this. Am spiritually weak but am STRONG. I will not cry. Does it makes sense to surrender but surrender strong. Cause that is what I'm doing now.

Am trying to trust God again. So far, He has been speaking to me. I can't believe when everyone is jumping and singing fast and hyper praise songs, I'm crying. Guilt eats me alive. Tak tahan. That why God forgives. Feel better. That day Chun Yeet shared about God accepting us back whole and new. God being so incredible like this gives me hope. :)

My faith in God is coming back and today just learned that best it's not to leave devotion until end of the day cause you're like not giving God your QUALITY time, you're giving God your left overs now is that what He deserves? Don't short change God.

Today I went for SR11 worship team auditions. Well, totally out of the comfort zone. Didn't know anyone there but Kar En, Clovey, Sam, Bryan and Vincent. But the others has their friends so left me, Kar En and Clovey. Felt extremely uncomfortable. Kar En talked to Clovey more cause I guess they didn't see each other for quite sometime so I totally understand. :) So it was just me. ME only. The person who I depend on today was really God. He really gave me confidence. :) Trust is coming back. Without His presence with me today, I really don't know how would I have made it through. AWH MAN!

Anyway, if the SR committee is reading this I would like to voice that maybe you can be a bit more friendly? You shouldn't be fierce and forceful even if we did something wrong. you left me with a bad impression. But it was just 1 member. So the others were great! :D LEARN TO BE NICE KAY? :)

Turns out it really became a long post! haha. Whatever, CIAOZ! :)

Joy and love.

2011-03-28T01:19:00.002+08:00

It's so long since I felt this way. :') I feel God's touch again. Just maybe 2 minutes ago. I know God's love for me again. How much He loves us. I'm speechless of His love. It's just such amazing love. :') I am literally crying now. His presence is so intense. Oh, so wonderful love. I can't believe how awesome and wonderful my God is. So sweet, so indescribable love. I find rest in Him now. Wonderful feeling, like I'm already in heaven already.Impossible joy, I've possibly never felt this joy before. I usually don't think I should stay up to read my Bible cause of the next day's activities. But now it all doesn't matter any more. This joy is so impossible. A wonderful God the loves us. I really just can't believe how much He loves us. Life can't get any more better than this. :') Just so amazing........ :') Just so wonderful ..... indescribable....... And I'm not exaggerating this awesome wonderful great, really no word can describe, love. :')

Prophecy?

2011-03-25T13:53:00.002+08:00

Today receive a totally good news from a friend. To be in formal he has the gift to prophesy. Cool? I know right. Well, some people might not believe me, but as a friend of his I'll trust him but at the same time ask God myself. What he told me was, MY MIGRAINE WILL BE GONE BY NEXT YEAR! Screammmmssss! Hope it's true!!

Anyway, today God spoke again, asked me if I realise what I did today was wrong. At the time it seemed fine but... after that I realised yeah, what I did was wrong or at least what I allowed to happen was wrong. Jealousy is poisonous to yourself. I feel poisoned now. :/God said what I did will only create problems for myself. I realised again it's true. In the end I'm the one who has the biggest lost. :/ Don't gain anything but a moment of entertainment. But what has been done is done. I feel I can't really change it back now, just have to see how it turns out. I'm so regretting but I realised before this I was hoping to just live my high school life freely without regrets because when else you have the freedom and guts to do stupid and crazy stuff without really being judge?HIGH SCHOOL SEASON! I think what happen didn't do much damage to anyone but me right? So should I regret?

We'll just see. :)

I need someone to pray with.

2011-03-18T13:01:00.003+08:00

I realised in this world you gotta have a few people you can be brave enough to ask them to pray with you. Well, that's what I need now. Someone to pray with. I still can't really feel God. Which I feel it's probably my fault, pray till sleep, refuse to read the Bible, cave in to weariness. But what I know it's not wrong being dry but the wrong is not doing anything about it. Serving now makes me really tired honestly. It like a endless cycle of dryness. Feel dry, try to serve, if give up, gone.

But I think for now I know what I need, intense presence of God. I myself alone has not enough discipline to get that far, which brings me to my main point. I need someone to pray with. Last week too much people in church, dunno how it effects me but still while Dr John was preaching I felt so annoyed cause the people there kept talking. What made me MORE annoyed is that my friend.... kept talking to me too, some more about totally unrelated stuff *sigh* I tried to be nice by answering my friend abrupt answers but it's like he/she was trying to initiate a conversation with me in the middle of the sermon.... -.- oh mannn... but still that day I did feel the presence of God a bit, well, quite a lot actually..

Well, the whole is this in short. Dr John came, preached about over and above giving then a pledge. The prophets covenant. God gave an amount. Me being unsure still wrote down the amount. Yes, and then I felt God quite intense but too short to be significant. I miss the feeling. Plus, what Doesn't help is that this week no cell meeting. Awh man! Famine in this land is killing me. Some people might think I should just go up to a church friend and ask for a prayer? No, I don't wanna be prayed for I want to pray together which can also but for me I think it'll be awkward.....?

Now what I miss the most is morning prayer. One week without prayer meeting I'm spiritually very weak now. I didn't see how morning prayer has helped me until now, I realised morning prayer is necessary.

Well, I guess you've probably got my point, I need someone to pray with. Hewwwwp!

Focus on?

2011-03-15T01:32:00.002+08:00

Everything is jumbled up in my mind right now. Business, personal life, spiritual walk, finance, studies. All jumbled up in my brain all at once. You might think that a 15 year old really wouldn't have much to worry about at this time of life. I assure you, my life is far more different than any other 15 year old out there. Might be joining a business soon? Omg, don't even wanna think about it yet. Involves parents, money and blah don't wanna think about it now. Personal life, let's put it as relationships. Well, really bringing me down and I guess it time is decrease it's priority in my life. Spiritual walk, this is personal la, but still trying hard to find a balance and find God's touch in life again. Finance, omg, connected to spiritual walk and stuff that I might not wanna discuss here. Studies, PMR year, very unready, nuff said. Plus, ministry should be starting soon (CF & CG duties should be under this too)

Have to juggle these stuff. Do you think a normal 15 year old would have to deal with these stuff? Maybe not. Well, at least I know I'm special and different. :) What I know is this year God is really pushing me VERY hard to enlarge my capacity. Time to prioritize!

List

1) Spiritual Walk

2) Studies

3) Ministry

4) Personal Life & Relationships

5) Business

6) Finance

Is this the correct order? I dunno la. My list, at least for now. Time to really manage my time PROPERLY. God, You move. I feel a huge move this year. Year of growth! Go go go go!!

not hard enough?

2011-03-10T16:41:00.003+08:00

Been dry. Expected a break through. State the obvious that I didn't get my break through. Is it too systemize(is there such word?) that every time when I get dry I will go into a hardcore devotion time with God that He would ALWAYS, no fail, to speak to me and get me soaked and fire up once again? Even more, why wait till dry to get serious with God? Way too routine-d. Or is it just me? Dunno la. God are you trying to get me to do break the routine for something better? I really need You now. This dry feeling is really not very comfortable at all.

Trying to serve also can't work properly cause it's by own strength. Imagine trying to slide across the floor using your own body with water it would be so much easier right? Imagine without water. You try. IT HURTS!

Other than that, I'm concern of my productivity. What am I doing with life? I understand and believe that some people in life can be BUSY but NOT PRODUCTIVE. But am I one of those kind of people? I am busy. But am I productive? Dunno. Recently God has been moving a bit. He's cancelling my plans for me! I'm wondering what God wants me to do with the time. But I CAN'T HEAR A THING from God.. :/ So what are you trying to say God?.....

Soaking wet.

2011-03-05T20:18:00.000+08:00

This post is way overdue. Don't even what was it to be about. Don't know why I even had this title. What happened? Don't remember la. move on~~~

I always wonder how some people can just leave God just like that, like way too easily. Always. But now I understand. I feel so tired now. Must be because I'm sick? or what? When I serve I feel dry. Don't see the point, feels like just stop serving would be the easiest solution. But for me have not even get into the ministry yet then already tired? Long run how? Dunno la. I'm still going back to church every week cause it's kinda the right thing to do? and I'm trying my best to regain the fire, find God's touch again. Wonder tmr how is God gona move. I miss You Jesus... dry now, rain down on me~~ Twice last week, was supposed to serve but FAILED, tak jadi. Why? Dryness. I don't know why, when I'm dry I can't serve.. Famine~ I need Your touch again! This situation is really hurting me.. I'M DESPERATE NOW!

Too early for decisions?

2011-02-21T23:32:00.002+08:00

So, my parents kinda talked to me about my future studies and stuff. I found out that I have a very high chance to go Singapore to study for Uni and stuff and mostly might even stay there and get PR. BUT, I'm VERY yakin that my calling is in Malaysia. I'm placed here for a reason and you know they might make me study some subject that I might not want. Honestly, I left my original choice of studies awhile and realize the original choice is really meant for me, theology.

I know, like I'm just freaking form 3 talk about all these? A bit too early la. Don't know la, I feel like I age mentally or in any other aspect way too fast la. :/ I don't seem like a 15 year old to me either. So weird laaaaa...

Second reason of why I might be going to Singapore is my 'godparents' Well, they don't have kids and I'm like they're only godchild. So they wish that I'd move over to Singapore with them, I loved the idea of earning more money at Singapore, spending more time with them and I know there is more peluang there, plus there also got another City Harvest, (Sorry but I just can't leave my beloved church, :) ) but it's just NOT my calling.

Even though avoid talking about it now also will have to face it soon after 3 years. But for now I stand firm is that studying there is ok, but NO WAY I'm gona get PR there or work there. Have burden for Malaysia.

Okay so update of my dreams. :)

1) Youth pastor! I like to see young & pure faith even though I'm young now. hahahaha. I know, what a joke.

2) Tallest building in the world~~ MINE!

Tada. These are gona be MINE! :D

Short update and questioning myself. How far will I go to defend my calling? Hmm...

Something to blog,

2011-02-17T02:07:00.002+08:00

I should really be sleeping now but whatever.

Was thinking, since I've started attending church I've been taught to listen to my leaders. Now I feel quite blind. Just follow without question? Even if sometimes you THINK they're wrong, they're still kinda right, but is it still REALLY right? Follow blindly? Hmm, what I'm trying to say here dunno if anyone understands.

I always question myself(example ny k. :) ), so my cell leader decides it's right to do this, but on the other hand, I feel like it's not that right. But again, have been taught to listen to leaders (feels like blindly).

I know how to seek God for guidance, but how, if I don't trust my instinct? Follow again? Man, I'm not good with writing out my thoughts. Hmmm.. never mind, since I'm not going to be able to write my thoughts I shall finish this post with a question.

Listen to you leaders blindly? Or Challenge the norm, ignoring what your leader might have to say as long as you believe it's right?

I don't know if the question I typed out actually make sense but I shall debate against myself.

Okay, bye! Prayer meeting tmr! :D Sleep nights! :)

OPEN.

2011-02-15T23:36:00.003+08:00

Think and see how many friends can you honestly say you can go crazy and do whatever you like and say whatever you like with?

...

....

.....

one.

...

....

.....

Yeah, only one.

I realized that I'm always giving myself excuses. Like, it's okay if you don't want to talk with this person. It's okay if you just show the person you're upset. It's okay if you keep quiet around people so you won't embarrass yourself by saying anything stupid. It's okay if you don't talk to this leader so you wouldn't look like some person who wants to kiss ass. It's okay....

Yes, this went on for way too long. I make up so many excuses that I rarely just let my hair down and say what I like and at the same time try to build meaningful relationships with people. Instead I close my social life down to only a few people. Others are just distant. Resulting NOBODY who understands me. Not saying this like a complaining kind of thing but just honestly I don't open up enough for people to understand.

Like it's a kind of thing where you care what people think and resulting something like nobody thinks anything about you any more. INVISIBLE. And you complain in your heart like 'How can people forget about me??!' But then again, don't want people to think you're complaining a lot and resulting keeping quiet and keep it to yourself again. And NOBODY knows what you're thinking again. And since you didn't speak up, nobody thinks about you again.

Worst social cycle. Take care of image way too much, jadi you present yourself with as less flaws as you can. And covering up yourself so you won't expose OTHER people's flaws. Covering up a lot of self for your own image and for other people's image so you won't damage your image in their mind. Cover cover cover~~

END RESULT : I DON'T KNOW WHO I REALLY AM NOW.

Mask after mask. Yes, this is me. :/ Sad to say. You know what? Heck with it. Take of that mask and go crazy with what I wanna be, and just for now, STOP THINKING WHAT OTHERS THINK. If not, soon nobody will understand, and people will stop trying to understand. And if people don't understand, nobody can help you and nobody will be there for you any more.

OPENNNNNNN OPENNNNNNN OPENNNNNNNN!!

God help me in this.

V day.

2011-02-14T14:12:00.003+08:00

It's Valentine's day. :) An overrated event. It's just special as people make it to be. But yes, at this age to think about a relationship is not good. Easy to lose focus.

But I admit I'm one of the retarded people out there thinking about someone out there that doesn't equally appreciate us back. :) We'd stop talking for quite awhile already, but still I believe we have something. :) Doesn't matter. Numb to rejections already anyway. Passion doesn't take NO for an answer. :)

Well, am not doing anything special for V Day. Ohohoh! A side note is that I very dislike Valentine's Day. It's always the day where I cancel every special thing that I decide to do for someone special. What la? Still so young, think what think. Being retarded here talking about stupid stuff that doesn't matter. Hahahah. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO MY GUMMY BEAR!

But I doubt you're reading this. :) I love you dear.

Sorry for sounding so cheesy. :P Having unstable emotions recently bear with me till I get back on track. :)

Moments.

2011-02-04T03:07:00.002+08:00

I realized I tend to think a lot. Usually people would ask me why am I so quiet. Well, I'd feel weird when they ask me that cause conversations are actually going on in my mind. (Yes talking to myself, I know I'm weird. I HATE SPIDERS!) Thinking a lot might not be the best thing 1 could have tho.

Honestly, I'm a very paranoid person, honestly. Say 1 wrong word you won't even know half the things I'm thinking after that and am not saying that to exaggerate.

Anyway, sometimes when I look back at the things I have done, time just passes so fast. Like what happened so far these 2 years in high school? Have I REALLY done anything worth remembering? Like what? Recently quite emotional la. You know, especially cause of this song

Makes me wanna treasure everything I have now. Time can't go backwards. Like how long in this short life you have will you be able to goof off with you family members? How long will they be around for that? Soon people will be leaving to different places and doing different things. But still thank God for the Chinese tradition where family members come back on CNY. Like that day I went jogging with my sister, haha, didn't know why I got so emotional, I started telling her, you know, you and me, coming out jogging together like there's nothing to worry about, moments like these don't come by often. It won't be like this for long. Soon we'll be off with our own lives and all. It might not be the same anymore.

Same, I did not know why was I SO emotional. haha. But it's quite true. I'll miss these times when I'm a teen. You have only 1 dad and 1 mom. Make them proud! Love them! Have fun with them! Embrace the nagging-s cause if they stop nagging you, you KNOW you're gona miss it! You only have these few siblings, or maybe more, idk, but you know you love them all and know that they're special just the way they are deep down right?? I do. I love my parents, I'll do the best I can to make them proud. My brother and sister, I'll do the best I can to love them to the max, care for them, and just treasure them.

Ahhh, all I know is, it won't be like this for long. :)

He lays down there beside her
‘Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he's tryin’ to hold on

‘Cause it won’t be like this for long

-Darius Rucker, It won't be like this for long

The Bible : Job (Part 1)

2011-01-28T23:45:00.005+08:00

Man IDK where to start! Well let's start with the part of Queen Esther and Job.

So I said that they never existed? Yes, they never existed but I still open up my mind to accept if 1 day they if they said they found their body or something but for now, I believe Job did not exist, both Queen Esther & Job was a play, a story. Well, it has been out of the study of the Bible, you see the God in the book of Job does not match the character of God. Go through the book of Job and you'll see in Job 1:7-12 that Satan tempted God! Right, right? You see even Jesus can't be tempted by Satan let alone God right? Anyway, back to my point, this does not match God's personality!

We must understand that God made this earth, this universe for only 1 reason. To make us the focus of His love, so what for like a righteous man like Job be test & trial for? God will never suddenly one day decide, ok, so today I want to make sijin suffer to see if she'll be faithful to me. If that is true, nobody wants to get close to God anymore right? It'll be so dangerous for us. But like the Bible says even your earthly parents know how to give the best for you what more your heavenly Father, so it works the same, your parents in the earth won't make you suffer, and we know God is more loving than our earthly parents, He will not torture us like that.

I understand maybe people say it's a trial, even now we still face trials right? No doubt. But still again we have to understand that God will never have trials against us and all the troubles we face is from a decision WE OURSELVES make. Understand? Cause I don't really know how to explain this part. hehe. Anyway, yeah, every time trials happen to us is when we make a wrong decision, and God is a God of justice so it is in His character to punish us with the results of the wrong decisions we make. Which brings me to one of the best things that God gave us out of love is FREE WILL.

Anyway, back to topic, it just does not make sense that God would do such things to us when He loves us so much and even give into Satan's temptation! Is this really the God we serve? I don't think so. But, having all these said I'm not saying that the Bible is wrong and fake, NO, I still believe the Bible is final and true! Again have to understand that the Bible is NOT here for us to find out if the people in the Bible existed or not, but the context, the things it teaches us, the values. The whole thing is to teach us! But why is it important for us to know this stuff like 'oh Job didn't exist etc. etc.? So we can understand how the Bible is written.

I realized that people including me read the Bible too literally sometimes. Like example, the Bible says it is very hard for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of heaven. If we read things like these too literally and just everything that is put in front of us we accept than you know, we won't really get the better understanding of the Bible. Plus, the author of the books in the Bible did not write the books for our time but for the people of their time! So what I'm trying to say here is you know, it's important for us to know this is because if we know how the Bible is written, the context and the perspective and etc it can strengthen our faith.

You see, if one day aliens came to invade earth, will your faith be shaken?? Yes right? People asked, the Bible did not say we should read it this way like, you know by the values and stuff. But you know that Christianity is a lifestyle, it's not a religion. So by understanding that somethings may not be stated in the Bible but still is true, like the existence of Job, the existence of aliens? Same. When we understand this when people question our faith we will be prepared and when something out of the ordinary happen, we can still be sure that there is a God and our faith will still stand strong.

So far that's what I can tell you my brain jammed already. There's still a lot more to this but if I continue typing, I can die so, stay tune! :D

Ciao! :)

p/s: i just realized how cacat the last part was.that time really jammed dy. ah sien. :/ try better next time!

Interesting!

2011-01-23T14:11:00.002+08:00

So just yesterday I bought this book "So You Think You Know THE BIBLE ? " By Dr. Ron Choong. Have start reading but haven't pass through the 3rd page. Hehe. Cause not much time but after this post, it's my date with the book. :D

Well, basically so far the first few pages has already told me that Genesis 1 - 11 might not even be true! Wow! Fascinating! Hahha. And did you know that Queen Esther and Job never existed? WOW! Even more better! Well, this book is not to shake your faith but to let you understand how the Bible is written. :) So, shall continue to read and see what I find out.

Anyway, to say tell the truth this book is my first Christian Thought book. Wow! Historical moment for me. haha. I shall persevere and finish although it is really deep in words cause it was really meant for Theologians to read so for me takes great concentration to understand and of course the Dictionary and the Bible beside me. Heheh.

Okay! Off for my date with the book. Would love to see what I'll be sharing with you guys in the future. Bye! :D *flying away*

:D

2011-01-21T01:04:00.002+08:00

I'M

GOING

FOR

JUSTIN

BIEBER'S

CONCERT!

Psalms 56.

2011-01-16T15:17:00.002+08:00

A Prayer of Trust

Be merciful unto me, O God:

for man would swallow me up;

he fighting daily oppresseth me.

Mine enemies would daily swallow me up:

for they be many that fight against me, O thou Most High.

What time I am afraid,

I will trust in thee.

In God I will praise his word,

in God I have put my trust;

I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

Every day they wrest my words:

all their thoughts are against me for evil.

They gather themselves together,

they hide themselves,

they mark my steps,

when they wait for my soul.

Shall they escape by iniquity?

In thine anger cast down the people, O God.

Thou tellest my wanderings:

put thou my tears into thy bottle:

are they not in thy book?

When I cry unto thee,

then shall mine enemies turn back:

this I know; for God is for me.

In God will I praise his word:

in the LORD will I praise his word.

In God have I put my trust:

I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.

Thy vows are upon me, O God:

I will render praises unto thee.

For thou hast delivered my soul from death:

wilt not thou deliver my feet from falling,

that I may walk before God in the light of the living?

Okay, shall start 2 days ago to show you how much this chapter means to me. (:

Was on a friend's car. We started talking about horror movies and blah. Yeah , so we talked about The Exorcist. He warned me not to see the movie cause it's a lil' faith shakening movie. He said he watched it when he was like 6 or 7? I don't remember la so yeah, he said it really scarred him even until now where he's 22 years old. Wow, must be some really disturbing movie huh?

Anyway, went home asked dad if he watched it and he started telling me about the movie and blah blah blah. So maybe kinda got a bit too much info about it or something so yeah kinda started to fear the demons you know? Like what I know is ghost can't harm you but only can scare. Demons are a lot different. They can harm you. So yeah, got scared of the demons and just kinda doubt God. The "what if's" could just kill me man. I didn't even dare to be alone in a room to do my devotion. Gosh. Scared like crap. Cannot tahan. But still daily devotion have to go on so, went up to the room. (p/s, I usually off the lights while devotion) I wanted to on the lights so badly actually. But I knew I couldn't focus if I on the lights. So, didn't on in the end la. Scared till shivering a bit dy. Now you know how scared was I lo. Still continue to worship and all but can't focus. Too afraid dy la. But yeah, God said finish up the worship songs and open your Bible and turn to Psalms 56:13. Well, that verse helped me a bit. I became calm after. But still scared. VERY scared actually but yeah, Decided to read the whole chapter la. When I hit verse 9. Tears la and you can imagine what happen next la. Very touched. (:

When I cry unto thee,

then shall mine enemies turn back:

this I know; for God is for me.

Especially the line 'God is for me'. You know how awesome is God? He so awesome I can't even imagine. ahah. Maybe you guys think it was stupid to get so afraid la, but you won't understand 1 la. haha. Only I will. :P I knew most people won't understand the greatness of this story but still just need a place to ber-express how awesome was God la. ahahah. Even though I doubted, God still proved Himself AWESOME. :D Psalms 56 means a lot to me la. (: So yeah that's it.

FYI, this happened on a Saturday night. The last night of IO camp, so, HAH! Presence of God was strong in my house too! :P :P :P HAHAH. XD

BYE.

2011.

2011-01-15T02:31:00.004+08:00

Since I'm done complaining in the previous post. Now shall slowly divide my mind to make sense out of things. So, let see what we get out of this brain now.

Well, not doubt that 2010 was like that best year of my life yet. Everything was awesome la, cell group, CF, RR, family, friends, relationships, studies..?? Well, studies were kinda below my average, but overall it was the best year of my entire life so far. Really thank God la. Anyway, let's see what I did throughout the whole year.

I remembered count down with the subzone. Puchong with UNO, Wii and food. :D

February was a exam-ful month & chinese new year!! ahah. :)

Plus in March gone for camps. CF camp scouts camp. CF camp rocked the best la. Scouts camp was tiring but fun. :)

April, the fulfillment of 4th Arise & Build pledge.

May birthday & exam! :D

June hangout month, laser tagggg! :P

July, BIG SLEEP OVER!! :D Subang Rally!! RR breakthrough!!

August, hang out at ah leong's place, the best party of the month la.

September, cook out movie day with jolene , loveen and all. :D

October, back to LH with the 6B peeps. Best event of the year for me. VERY meaningful. Adrian's birthday surprise. :D An honest Mistake Concert. :)

November, outing with the form 1 girls(2010), duct-tape dress with loveen and jolene. :D And, of course, STATE OF THE ARTS!! :D

December, 6B futsal outing, DUMC Christmas Production!! Then, the working starts!! Pins and needles production! BEST WEHH!! Outing with colleagues. (:

Then again a meaningful count down with my beloved family in ORANGE t shirts!! :D

Well, like I said. 2010 was like the best year ever la. (: But this year I'm really looking forward to what wonderful memories I'll create this year. (:

I'm grateful to everything I gain last year. A new best friend. A new family. A new experience. A new miracle. A new point of view. I really thank God for the fact that I remember the things that I did last year. Cause I do not want to come to a point where every 1st January of every year I'll tell some one, 'OMG, time passed way too fast. I don't even remember half the things I did.' If one day that actually happened, it shows that I done really nothing meaningful in the pass year that's really worth remembering.

I want to make the best out of all the time I have this year to make everything beautiful and memorable so when I look back, I will remember everything that happened and just say wow, God brought me here. WOW. That's honestly what I feel when I looked back to last year this year. At the beginning of last year, I just joined church not long. Life in a mess. The beginning of this year in the CF committee, serving so regularly in cell group and CF and soon church, doing homework now. heheeh. and also life is quite in order. (:

I witness growth, miracles, building strong bonds with cell members and God. All together also, problems, spiritual dryness, minor backsliding etc. But all I've been through made me who I am today. But still a long way to go to be the person Pod made me to be. I see more growth spiritually, in numbers in cell group and church and in relationships. Anyway, I too realized that what I lacked last year was discipline. So this year, shall be more discipline. So now I shall list my New Year Resolutions down! :D

1)PMR 8A's!

2)Do all my homework!

3)Contribute and serve as much as I can.

4)Fulfill building fund this year!!

5)Make new friends and bring in closer bonds.

6)Attitude adjustment. :P This is where church comes in.

7)Make my leaders, family, parents, and friends proud to say they know me. :D

8) Be financially in order!!

I believe an awesome year to come la overall. So this is my post about 2011. (:

Complains.

2011-01-15T00:58:00.003+08:00

I really never write complains on blogs usually but I really can't stand it anymore. So here goes everything I dislike the most about people.

I dislike :

(a) People who try way too hard to be originally/different.

- This I dislike! Like why so loa for? What's the point? Heck, just be yourself, act stupid , act smart, act cool, awh man, JUST BE YOURSELF!! Don't try so hard, it just make you less original.

(b) People who think that some things you do are weird when it really isn't.

- Like heck , if I wanna do this just let me do it! Don't give me that look that makes me consider not doing what I wanna do. DON'T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A DORK. -.- Ultimate DISLIKEEE!! Don't over there snicker snicker so much. urghhh!! Blah. DISLIKE!

- Gosh, don't give me that look! Don't ACT so calm! and serious. Don't make me feel bad / stupid / retarded. Cause I'm not. Like who are you, to show me that attitude?! I like to talk crap and silly things then let me la. Don't boss me around to make me act like how you want me to. Remember that my crap talks always cheer you up.

Like seriously, what's your problem acting like you're so much better than everyone else, huh? GET OVER YOURSELF! You ain't cool yo! You ain't that smart yo! You ain't awesome yo! -.- Stop bossing me around like you know what's best when you don't. retard........... don't act smart there then say what for my own good, just trying to help me, just trying to teach me or in the end saying 'you just won't listen to anyone.' No, I will listen to you when you actually make sense or approach me with the right attitude.

"Shut Up"

There you go
You're always so right
It's all a big show
It's all about you

You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time
To criticize me

It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can't get it right

It's like I'm the one
You love to hate
But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

There you go
You never ask why
It's all a big lie
Whatever you do

You think you're special
But I know, and I know
And I know, and we know
That you're not

You're always there to point
Out my mistakes
And shove them in my face

It's like I'm the one
You love to hate
But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down
Is gonna bring me down

Will never bring me down

Don't tell me who I should be
And don't try to tell me what's right for me
Don't tell me what I should do
I don't wanna waste my time
I'll watch you fade away

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

Bring me down
{shut up, shut up, shut up}
Won't bring me down
{shut up, shut up, shut up}
Bring me down
{shut up, shut up, shut up}
Won't bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up

Yeah, just shut up. -.-

done complaining. kay thanks bye.

Maturity.

2011-01-11T21:35:00.002+08:00

Well, as some people know recently there was leo-interact 'war'? I wouldn't call it a war cause it really isn't. Anyway, I'm not trying to light the fire again or talk about the issue but I only wanna talk about the main person involved in it - Kaelan.

Very Honestly, I admire his maturity of handling these things. The way he handled it was way passed the maturity that I thought one can have. Like wow, I admire. I can just hope that one day I can have such maturity.

He's not easily moved by other's comments, he has his stand. He knows what he's talking about. He think twice about what he says when in such situation. He DARES to take responsibility for his words. And the thing I admire the most is the fact that he can actually resist from replying the comments.

Well, being able to have these SOLID qualities above when in such situation like the one he has been in is really VERY hard and is the best a person can get I can believe. If it were me, I won't even know what I'm talking about when I were to write the super long essay. And for my itchy mouth, I wouldn't be able to stay away for the status that I posted. I also will be too thick-faced to resign. Lastly, I will definitely be WAYYY pressured and not even passing 30 comments than I've deleted the whole status.

His maturity really surprised me. Just, you know, I believe he is a very good example to follow. Being able to handle things maturely and also BE fun is really what I wish I can be like. :) Kaelan Ong is someone I wanna be like when I grow up. (:

Stressed out!

2011-01-09T21:25:00.002+08:00

Gosh, I remember God spoke to me before I pledge for Building Fund. And He said, it's not gona be easy this time. It'll be tough. Well, yes. It really has been tough so far. Like working (although I enjoy that job a lot), and since school reopen, starting to focus on studies, homework, tuitions and now I have a little time consuming job from my mom to earn some side income for building fund.

Teachers aren't being nice on me by giving SO much homework. Like I'm so stressed out with all this homework.. Gosh... Just wanna let it out and just scream.

Studies, well, so far studies aren't on the urgent list yet but still it's on my mind so much it becomes a little baggage.

Tuitions aren't a stress but VERY time consuming. I know it helps in my studies but I just need a little bit more time to do my job for building fund.

The job from my mom, yes, I enjoy the pay to fulfill building fund but I do NOT enjoy the time consuming process of it. As time goes by doing that job, it kinda adds on stress.. Urghhh.. -.-

To top it off, my brother would just have to come back from work and bug me and scold me and insult me for no freaking reason!! OMG, help me! I'm so stressed out...

Overall, I NEED MORE TIME!! :(

Updates.

2011-01-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

UPDATES.

Well, let's start this of with the part that... *drum rolls* I'm in the CF committee! :D Yes, this is true! Sounds so exciting right? Hahah. Maybe not to some of you but, yes, for me, it feels so exciting. :D I got the post of the Assistant Prayer Leader. Everybody say 'WOW' .. WOW! :D Well, New year, new responsibilities. (: Time to bring my personal spiritual walk to a high level. (: Time of change, capacity enlarging, taking on more responsibilities. Anyway, which bring me to my next point.

STOP BEING A LAZY BLOGGER. Hehe. If you're reading this XP, thanks for the nudge. (: Shall do regular updates, not because I have to but because I just want to. I've always made attempts to blog before this but got distracted in the end to just leave it aside. hahaha... not that funny eih? Anyway, I shall stop doing half done work. (:

Other than that, this year is PMR year. Oh noooooo... ok la. I kinda semangat for this exam. Imma conquer it. Shall not be like last year, I will do my homework and pass up on time this year.

You know, I sense a busy year for 2011. Like now, I'm having 5 tuitions. Well, NEVER in my life that I have more than 1 tuition, but now 5. Besides that, Like I said, CF committee. You know, I don't know what to expect but I believe it's gona be a good year and good experience with CF. I will do my best. And yes, ministry. Shall definitely join 1!!! MUST!

So yeah, that's all for now. Please bear with me if I don't update for 2 weeks. Tops 2 weeks la. Hahah. If not nudge me. :P Thanks. See you in the next post.

Tragedy.

2010-11-24T00:50:00.002+08:00

TRAGEDY.

I've never been so worried? I don't know how to describe this feeling at all. It's just sad, you know? I'm talking about the Cambodia bridge stampede.

I think if you guys pay attention to the news you'd know about this. Over 370 people died in this tragedy.

I don't know how to describe this feeling.. I just really wish you guys out there who are reading this post would pray for them. No matter Christian, Buddhist, Islam, Atheist or whatever you believe in, just pray for these people.

Pray for their families, friends, relatives and the 750 people who got hurt in the stampede. Sadness.. Hope everything will get better for them. Be very sure to keep them in prayers!

love.

2010-11-22T01:14:00.003+08:00

LOVE.

Matthew 7:21-23
'Depart from me, you who practice lawlessness'
What law exactly??

Matthew 22:37-40
'Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.'

1 Corinthians 13:1-3
'And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am NOTHING.'

Some times we have to just forget everything we're doing and just tell God we love Him. (:

When some one tells you they love you. They don't expect you to say 'Thank you thank you!! I'll do anything for you. I'll wash your clothes, I'd do the dishes etc. etc.' NO, they expect you to just say 'I love you, too' Just love God. Tell Him you love Him. Don't try to make it more complicated than it should ever be. (:

I believe love is the most important. (:

I love you,too Father.

Friends.

2010-11-03T03:25:00.002+08:00

I was about to post something about being in a clique with all my close friends name in it a few days ago. Well, in that post I've written down our bad memories. I dare to write it in a public blog because I know when they read it, I trust that they understand. But I'm really disappointed at 2 of them now. Clearly I know that I can't trust them anymore. Insulting me, blaming me, rejecting me for what I did in the past. Plus, 1 of them who always tells me she loves me was lying. If you truly loved me you wouldn't have done what you did. You know what I mean. Others don't have to understand.

I'm very sad but not angry now. Feels like I'm gona break down and cry soon. I trusted you! And that's the part I see from you.

Some leaders over my life told me I don't have to be in a clique, you know, like the specific group you always hang out with. It took me really long to accept that fact and love myself the same. To feel belonged & acceptance, but not being in a specific group of friends. (Not saying it's bad to be in a clique, just we DON'T HAVE TO be in a clique) Well, I got used to it, I was really happy to be on my own actually, surprisingly. (: Cause the people I used to be in a clique with can always still be friends! :D Anyway, I'd browse around with different people, understanding different people. It was a good time, I was happy until the people I used to be in the clique with wanted to start a problem with me for what I said in the past. Still I continued my single clique-less life.

What I'm sad about now is the person I thought was my friend would've did what she did. I thought we were friends, I was wrong all along. Like I said, clearly I can't trust you anymore. What you did really hurt bad. Still, I will be your friend depending on if you'd be my friend. I'm willing to forgive. Note : I HAVE APOLOGIZED. Your turn to apologize for what you did. To you now definitely thinking ''Why should I apologize to you?! I didn't do anything wrong!'' I really hope you really just calm you mind down now and slowly think again. You yourself know what you did on this blog. Just put your pride down to apologize. And we can still be friends! I still want us to be friends!! :( If not, I don't think WE can be friends. But I'll be your friend if you need me. My friend, when I texted you 'Love you', I meant it.

To others reading this, my relationship with the girl is NOT Lesbo kay. HAHA. xD Love among friends. (:

I'm still a happy person OKAY! :D Just resolving some friendship issue! ;D Will blog more cheery stuff soon. Hope this resolves soon. ;D

Responsibility.

2010-10-30T23:55:00.004+08:00

This is gona be a short post.

It's a post to a unhappy person. Skip it if you don't wanna read it. Thanks.

Well, basically to the person 'Not happy' that commented in my cbox. (:

Well, I'm sorry of what I blogged offended you or something.

I'm willing to take the responsibility by apologizing to anyone who was offended by it.

I didn't really mean it.. But like I said.

WAS IN A BAD MOOD.

Anyway, the post is deleted.

And instead what I wanna teach you is you claiming to be a Christ follower shouldn't protect the other religions, but at the same time you don't condemn them, too. (:

Honestly, is that what Jesus would want you to do?

What I did, I know was wrong. And I'm sorry.

I learn to be care with my words.

Plus, as a follower of Christ everything we do should be out of love.

But I didn't see love in the comment you gave.

We both know we are in a process of learning.

I for 1 will hope that we can grow together.

Continue coming back for updates. (:

And I would appreciate if you could teach me things that I don't know, too.

You don't have to reveal your name if you don't want to.

Please don't make both of us miserable. I'm human too.

I have my down and bad times. (:

With much love,

Sijin.

Family.

2010-10-24T00:11:00.002+08:00

Dealing with family members.

Ah, it can be frustrating. But it also can be easy & a good experience.

I've been dealing with family members in the wrong way recently I guess. I fess that I been a bit over recently, the way I talk, the way I react. Ah, I feel bad. Leaders ask me to apologize, but.... I never done that kinda thing before. div>

Peaceful now. Once I post a status saying that a person should never take granted of their family, instead be the one who brings in the sunshine, because you'll regret you didn't do it when you realize they're gone. Talk easy la, but action? Sometimes they're just to unpleasant you just wanna give them a tight slap! But, that's totally wrong. To think about it after you give a family member a slap you won't actually feel better but you'll feel worst. :/

Emm, feeling bad. And I'm taking up the challenge to actually APOLOGIZE to my sister. God, what has this world become? Me apologizing to my little sister? Oh gosh, like dipping my face in mud. But then again, maybe I won't feel that bad, maybe things will feel better? I duno la. We'll see how I feel.

Need to have GUTS!!!!! >:D

Anyhoo, EXAMS are coming YAY!! :D So not happy. :/ I haven't study finish, not prepared. I think the results won't look pretty & dammit! I CAN'T CONCENTRATE!! Ahh, berexpress-express enough dy la. Tmr churching and now still online. Haha. Nights beautiful people of blog world. (:

WAITTT! I wanna blog bout Adrian's birthday surprise & An Honest Mistake Concert!! :D Ah, next time la. Ciao. (:

Life.

2010-10-16T03:16:00.002+08:00

Ahh, life. (: So wonderful at times. So exciting, at times. So worried, at times. So depressed, at times. So disappointed, at times, too. Ahh, well. This is life. :)

Currently at a worried & disappointed time. But still with a hint of wonderful in life.

Worried cause of? EXAMS.

Disappointed cause of? something that should not be mention here. (if you do care enough to find out, call me. (: I really want to share it with someone but just don't know who to find cause well this thing matters to me which doesn't really relate to me, get it? Ahh just call me if you wanna know what's bothering me.)

But the wonderful is all the little bits of life put together. My spiritual family, Papa in heaven and just the little little insignificant things that actually do matter. (:

Well, I'm confused now. A bit. Hmm, don't know what to feel. :/ Happy? No? Sad? No? Confused? Kinda. About what? I have not the littlest clue. Feel happy yet sad at the same time, about what? Should not be mentioned here either. I really need to talk about it now. I don't know where to hide lo. I need legitimacy. ): God... ahh, leaking too much.

Well, all I know is at times where not 1 thing is going right, rejoice in the Lord. He will take care of it. For now, embrace the beauty of life.

*what am I feeling?*

respect.

2010-10-15T02:40:00.003+08:00

I think there still 1 thing in me I haven't cure. :/ I'm stronger now. But feel crappy easily. Fragile la, you can say. Strong but at the same time fragile.

I want respect. :/ Friends in school know me too well, that they constantly insult me. They'd think it's just a joke but .. but I really don't like it. I can take a joke, but can you at least respect me? They take me as a joke, using me to sound funny. YOU SOUND LIKE A JERK TO ME. It's not only 1 of them who do these, but 2. You both are the ones who are actually counted as my good friends but.. you guys make me wanna cry. I'm not a joke, can you take me seriously? As in like treat me as a friend for once in front of others? I have feelings too. ):

Adrian talked to me before and said maybe I haven't totally forgiven my friends for treating me 'that' way in the past that I'm sensitive now. VERY sensitive. The wound isn't healed yet. It's been over a year and the wound isn't healed yet. Hmm. Well, I have to remember my identity, A PRINCESS.

Well, at least I know I'm not worthless. I'm actually priceless. (: Jesus think I'M, ME, WONGSIJIN, is to die for. (: I'm His princess. He LOVES me. I know He is all that matters. At the end of the day it's not who you impressed, but did you impress God. I ask myself that question every night.

Hmm, still point of the day, did I impress God? Better yet, did I obey God today? haha. Ponder~

Well, anyways, whoever read this, please know that I want you to respect me, I'm sensitive in that particular spot(the way friend treat me). Don't treat me like some toy. But I'll respect you no matter what. (:

smile. (:

Hmm.

2010-10-08T02:33:00.002+08:00

Wow. I think I don't update my blog much now? Hmm. I'm very weak now actually. Keep having the want to cry. A bit a bit have to cry. But today I started to be strong and hold back my tears. I don't want this to become a habit. As in like really consciously decided not to cry. And NO this is not some emo post, just saying I'll be strong. (: Pray more, eat less, sing so so much more. HAHA.

Yesterday, I was reading all of XP's blog post. Yesh, I have officially read them all. HAHA. And the few latest posts I have read a thousand times but never did understand. Hmm. Whereas until yesterday, I truly understood it. Especially his post about struggling and grace. I finally truly from the bottom of my heart understood and learn so much from those 2 posts. I know I was feeling how he felt then, well to truly understand you have to feel it too. No wonder I didn't understand.

Spiritual life isn't as official as last time anymore, and since it's just spending time with God, I don't have to make any fixed time to spend time with Him right? Cause He's always there. But yes, I do know that we should also give God His due honor & respect, for He is God. and we should never take anything for granted.

So yeah, anyways, I've been half listening to God speaking recently. Just half. It's such a bad idea to have a phone that can go online, like come on, it's just SO tempting. ><>

Honestly, I have not learn how to truly just RELY solely on God. It's just so hard. I'm learning far too much before I'm even capable of doing the basics. Urghh, my brain is reminding me, what about this? Aren't you suppose to do this? What about that? BLAH. I try so hard to achieve what I think I'm suppose to that when I stop to think, I realized the most basic principles on me are super wobbly and shaky.

I always thought I'm here to achieve great things, I wanna grow up, I wanna go evangelism!!! Yes, yes, BIG dreams. But look back onto my foundation [As most of the CHCKL members know, our foundation of life, (build your life like a house)is RELATIONSHIP!] is not stable. I think of big things, change the world, etc. what about relationship with God? :| I neglected it. Even if 1 day I do reach the ends of the earth thru evangelism, I'll fall too easily. Why? Wobbly foundation. What I learn thru typing all these out is relationship with God is the MOST important. Without it, falling will be just as easy as gravity. No wonder, I spiritually break down A LOT. I never realized the problem was foundation. I wasn't not doing enough, I just didn't spend enough time.

Well, I'm not afraid of losing anything now, cause I have nothing to lose. I started with zero. Now I'm back to zero again, to build the foundation. So now, I focus more on relationship with God, just to be with God. (: Before I move on to the next stage. Love God continuously till forever la. Have to hold on to God tight.

Love,

SiJin.

That's when I first believed. (:

2010-09-16T03:50:00.004+08:00

Now I'm in love. The feeling isn't mutual I'm sure. (: But it's okay. The true meaning of loving someone isn't to be loved back but to wish the best for them, and just LOVE them. And this love is called unconditional love. (: I realize that unconditional love exist the day I truly met Jesus. Now I would like to take some time and talk about how I believed. Please read on believers and non-believers a like. ♥

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

(FYI, I had stop going to church for many months before this happened.)

I was crying so badly. My friends have left me, and they were my LIFE ! A friend named Sabrina said "Si Jin, it's okay. God will still be your friend. Your best friend." I didn't believe her. "Why not you pray to God?" she said again. I thought it was a joke. Like who believes in that stuff. But I nodded anyway.

At night. I was hurt so badly I was crying my eyes out. Screaming and screaming. But nobody knew the pain I felt. How my friends treated me. The hurt, the pain, the agony. I thought of what Sabrina said and I started praying with little faith

"God! If You're really out there! And You know my pain! Send an angel down to earth!! May that angel talk to me! May that angel pray for me! May that angel HELP ME! God if You're REALLY REALLY out there, PLEASEEEE just show Yourself, just this once! PLEASEEEEE !"

And then I cried myself to sleep. Drowned myself in the hurt and pain, I slept. The next day, Loveen called Hui Jie my cousin and invited us over to her church. I thought what the heck, I've never seen her in YEARS, and I do miss her. I should go visit her. (: So I did.

I reached the church. Saw Loveen, gave her a BIG hug. Then went in. The preacher was David Oh. (: Pastor was currently at LA. David preached about faith. I don't know how it touched me but it got me crying, REAL HARD. I don't remember why I cried, but I know I felt the love of God and the legitimacy. And when David held an Altar Call, I knew I had to do this. I stepped out of my seat and ran to the altar. Crying very hard. David pray for all of us. Then there was a counselor behind us to talk to us, to pray for us. Thank God for Hazel, the girl who was there behind to pray and to talk to me. I cried so badly thinking about how God has answered my pray for the VERY FIRST TIME by send the angel that I had prayed for, Hazel, and that is when I first believed. After 10 minutes, my friend texted me and everything was okay again. My faith grew stronger. That night I was struggling to keep the faith. And I made it through.

I continued to go back to that church and serve regularly in cell group & CF. God became my 1st priority in life. Friends, God has not forsaked me when I was drowning in the world. I just needed to take that first step to choose to pray and he took a thousand steps closer into my heart pouring out His unconditional love. Overwhelming me. Resolving my problem. Everything I am today came from that little choice I made to pray. Something I didn't really do for years. I chose not to go to church anymore, not to pray, not to believe in Him. But He believed in me and made a great opportunity for me to meet Him at the right time.

If you asked me to go to that church a few weeks before, I'm sure the effect would have been 100% different. But His timing is perfect. Look where I am now. I see I have grown. A lot I might add. I love people now. I try my best not to hate and let God's love overflow from me filling the needs of other hearts. Now I choose to be a Evangelist in the future. (:

If you're reading this and it touched your heart(or even if it did not), I know and I'm convicted that God is working in you now. (: So please just let the love of God flow in you. Take that 1 small step to believe with a little bit faith, a bit will do, and God will take a thousand steps closer to you. (:

Hope this blesses someone. (: ♥

Much ♥,

Si Jin.

haih.

2010-09-08T20:33:00.004+08:00

looking at my life. I thought i had it good.. But , looking at it again, i see how miserable my life really is. Stupid devil! Go back to hell!! Stop trying to lie to me! I hate you stupid devil! Feels like a good for nothing right now. >< haihz.

REACH.

2010-09-06T19:12:00.002+08:00

Sunday After having lunch at pyramid. Was waiting to go back home. Then suddenly, girls. You know those kind of typical Malay girls ( no racism intended yeah. (: )? The kind where 1 whole big gang laughing, and kicking each other etc etc. I can't recall what those kind of girls actually act like but yeah, those typical Malay girls. Should be almost every school at least have 1 gang of that type of girls, am I right? Okay. Continuing~

Okay, was sitting around Starbucks and saw those girls. First thought shot me just for awhile 'Annoying wannabes. -.- Get a life man. Super LOA wehh' But on second thought ' These girls.. such a big gang. They might just be trying to look happy for their friends? Or maybe in such big group, there are definitely times where they face rejection eh? It's too bad they don't Jesus. :( '

So yeah. Continued to look around. Everyone that passed by definitely had cried cause of hurts and rejection before, but how many of them know that God is there for them? How many of them know that God loves them? How many of them know that they're a child of God? How many of them know that they can put their burdens on God? How many of them actually felt the acceptance & love from God? How many?

God loves them ALL. But they don't know it. There no more time to waste, Jesus is coming back real quickly and they don't deserve to go to hell before hearing and knowing the gospel. The harvest is many, but the farmers are less. Time to reach out humans and children of God!!

You all know very well that God loves them so much it hurts Him every time they cry or get hurt. And I'm sure you wouldn't be happy knowing God is hurt because you aren't willing to reach out. Motivation here? Because you love God.

I'm trying to do my best of reaching out, not letting go of a chance to spread the gospel after I realize this and yes, I found many chances to spread the gospel since I was looking out for them. But still I find myself not having enough courage to speak up. So, still in the process of training. Strong will is needed. No time to waste people. (:

tired.

2010-08-30T20:40:00.001+08:00

wow. It's amazing how late i can wake up and feel tired this early. Haihz. But just mentally tired.

You know how tired is it to treat someone so nice and that person real just don't give a damn about you? So tired to layan orang, REALLY.

People who doesn't know what you're going through keeps putting stress on you. How weak one can get. Haihz. Help Jesus! Nobody knows how much you just want to cry sometimes but you have no more tears. But Jesus knows. :) that cheers me up. But still tired. I know that i can cry on His shoulder and end up being stronger. Jesus said for those who are heavy laden, come to Me and I will give you rest.

Other than that. I think i've found the guy. :) he loves God, nice personality. But the feeling is definitely not mutual. As Gladys has told me before, a good relationship comes from a good friendship. Will pray to see if he really is the right 1. But i believe he isn't. But really it's okay. :)

Great! Time to go to God, and then sleep.

Out of the comfort zone.

2010-08-22T16:56:00.003+08:00

My goodness! Have been spending a little extra devotion time recently. Amazing laa. God told me He's gona be rough on me. My new season la. Toughening me up. By the song choices, telling me to endure and and finish strong. He's also telling me not to give up, whatever He puts in my life. Okay, need help here. I'm expecting some big stress coming.. Can't wait til it passes and I'll come out stronger.

TOUGH.

But now already feel weak.

BLAH.

Time to do more devotion to stay & be strong.

STRONG.

By the way. Is it possible that the devil can talk to you in church? O.O Cause, I'm quite sure I heard someone in my head telling me that my leaders, especially my cell leader, don't love me. I'm just a freaking burden. Felt like crap instantly. :( How?

----------------------------------------------------------------

Some People in church (not my church only yeah) acting all so Holy Moly, but the minute you got out of church, what happens to your loving, caring, kind attitude? Does it just stay in church like that?

NO, it shouldn't be like that.

Some leaders tell us to go make a difference but sometimes they themselves forgotten to do it themselves. You know, being a leader doesn't mean you're ONLY suppose to be a freaking Pharisee that make sure other are all Holy Moly. You have to understand ! We are all in a learning process, even if you ace you theology/Bible Knowledge test with 100% etc. etc.

YOU ARE NOT PERFECT YET!

We are Christians, and we are suppose act like one, in or out of church! Work with meeeee!! Get out there and serve, not only the church but people out of church, too. Well, but there's still 1 thing we have to know is don't serve because, you're force to. Don't serve because you'll feel guilty if you don't.

Serve, out of love.

Love is our primary motivation! (:

Hope this helps someone.

SMILES!! :P

RAWRRRRR!

2010-08-21T04:12:00.003+08:00

Below was just for stress relieving sake.

If you're bored and have nothing to do.

Count which alphabet or number or symbol I used the most. xD

see ya-

With love,

SiJin

RARARARARARARRARARARARADCSDCSDCSDC

ACASCAKNKknksdnkc

dcicdncndicnciccncbjbckjsbkjsbkcbskawwqidhdcicm mq,mnnqoibcbbskbc

sbja;abckjabckjabcbcab;cab;cbs'dcsd[e[rhfvwerber[vc

dcsocbsncxakbkansdnkaknsqnknwkenvpp3p12pe1p3fpibrpwbefwpvs dsc

acabsabcs cbwc

aec aescae

shbdc

bhoiwbefowbeofbwoefboqbwibDAS[A[COJNNAKNnknnskndvknsdvknskvdnsirwne fvpifefwbfisksnvnsvnkskskn

ssbvkssoivoisjbs

svbsvoibobvsoibosiboisodvbioebvoisoivdsebibvovibwobweibebBDOWSBVOWIOIBRGVOBIERBIE

bvrobabiifbeorbivoibeoivbeivriberviberibovobieroivoiwefopqwp0odq-0fufvopjwpoejfopqje

vwbaefwbdfbjkbksjdbvkjboeifbe vdspvdobsfdospodj

dvsdvbodisdvoisoiboisbvoihrp[buergihjeptihgbnvejnrgi bvoebivoibeorigbiowbeoif oibwoefiwrgo

fwgbueroigheoirhgrhib]wegr

wetbiwe'hb'wh'thbwphtbowihiowhbtioh

dsuwebaidcbaidbcqwbdcs

qwdc

bqeoufcsqbw

pbdc

qiwpbr

ecqw

vbceuovdbqwevqowuveciuqwvdc

qwcqvwciyqvweivwieviw

wdcquvciuqwebqec

qcvqwciuqwcquvqw

ewqwvqwuq

wqe

wqvqequvquwuqevqweq

eqwvequweqwe

qwequweuqvwe

qweuweuwrfwef

dbsfvdi

sfv

sdfivubfv

sdfivbdfv

dfvdifrter

beidqwef

ehtgiher

gfwiergbtierovfhweitb

eirhbvw

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vbw

eivwiervbiwebbviwveibvwibvbvfwbiivwfibvwfeibv

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bfefeb fibwo

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pohrsfpvw]er]gvp[kweprndvsdfbvsdv

BLAH.

The harvest is near.

2010-08-20T00:38:00.002+08:00

There is a verse in the Bible in the book of Matthew that said. The harvest is all around, but not enough of farmers to harvest them.

Well, from this verse we can understand that people all around the world are ready to accept Christ, just the believers all around the world take advantage as what Pn Doris Wong said and didn't see the need to harvest them up. The harvest is much, but the harvesters are less. This way, how will we be able to harvest up all of them before ANY of them close their open hearts to the gospel?

Think!

Every soul is IMPORTANT and SPECIAL! God loves them the same!

Friends, time to gear up!! God has spoke to me so much recently. (: No longer taking praying, devotion as a chore, but motivated by love.

It's time to get up from your comfort zone!! Reach out & move & do something about your beliefs!! Rise up!

If you really believe in the salvation, you would crawl through a path of broken glass screaming for 1 to hear & believe the gospel. It's time to realize the importance!

Don't really feeling like blogging. No inspiration now. Can't elaborate much without God speaking to me right now. Sorry for this cacat post. :( By the way, all previous posts are moved to somewhere else. Will display it again one day. (:

Loves.

SiJin. (:

stretch!

2010-08-18T02:08:00.002+08:00

Recently have been studying the book of Matthew. Came across this verse. That really interest me.

Oh, btw, did you all know that the book of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John is just ALL the same story told again and again? :O hahahaha. I just found out a few weeks ago. XD Good Bible knowledge eh? Gospel~

Anyways, since i'll be able to online on the laptop tmr, *finally! Yeah. I'll blog about it then.

Stay tuned!

buck up!

2010-08-15T02:53:00.004+08:00

this is a season for us all to buck up!! :)

For those who are all on fire for God, have you neglected your studies? That is no reason to neglect your studies you know. God wants us to excel in everything we do, and in the end achieve results that would be a testimony of him. :)

As we all know we are the children of God. And us as the children of God would have to achieve the same level of greatness as God our Father. Which is EXCELLENCE. I'm not expecting all of us to be as perfect as God, but actually just doing our best. :) you might say 2 years ago i won...... But friends, what is your best in the past is not your best NOW. If you're still clinging to your part successes, you have to check your progression already. Are you improving? Are you doing the best you can? Are you really pushing hard to be the best? Questions to be answered and evaluated by yourself. I'm not here to judge but just to give a gentle reminder. And let God, the just, do the judging. :) but remember, as a follower of Christ, and children of God, we strive for EXCELLENCE!

But for the others, you are doing well in your studies. And maybe just fantastic and the top student in class. That's just wonderful, praise the Lord! Hallelujah! :) but there is a yearning for something deep in your heart, there like a big stone in your life that causes you to think, 'hey, responsibilities are coming and i'm really crashing down. Burdens. So heavy and i'm carrying this all by myself and i'm giving out so much for people.' let me assure you, you don't HAVE to give anything, you are not walking this life alone.

maybe you do not realise but you're giving so much just for acceptance from people. Which is totally conditional. But you are not realizing, you DON'T have to give anything! Because the greatest acceptance you can get is acceptance from God and the plus side is GOD'S acceptance and love is unconditional. You don't have to go to church worrying, how do i look? What if someone ask me about my studies, if i told them will it be good enough? Thinking like this, is cause by living under the orphan spirit. You're insecure, seeking for acceptance but not realize, God the Father has already accepted you and love you SO much that He can't love you more already. It's already to the max. :) but, the orphan spirit can't be gone just like that, the has to be displaced. Displaced by the spirit of sonship. :) the spirit of sonship will give you a sense of love, legitimacy, warmth, secure, because you realize and understand that you are a son and you know your identity. :)

Those under the orphan spirit will go around spending on unnecessary things. Why? To seek approval. But not knowing all the legitimacy and approval and acceptance he'll ever get is at home. (under God's love)

Friends, just understand the God is YOUR Father. :) all your hurting, fighting, war, breaking things will not set you free, but only if you realize you are a SON! :)

God bless and love His children.

Love,
Si Jin.

GO / FAITH.

2010-08-12T20:42:00.002+08:00

Go and do your homework.

Go to sleep.

Go and get the remote.

Go and make a difference. (:

GO.

In order to get something done, we have to GO.

Jesus said

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

-Matthew 28:19

Who of real and true Christian faith do not seek revival. I know I do! (: But to do so, we have to GO.

Today I was thinking while recess revo. We were called to go around the school and combine everything we've learnt and just make a difference. I've always thought, sure this world does not revolve around me and everything I have now in this world is not eternal, so why not invest my time, strength and mind on eternal things like spreading the gospel to get souls saved. And I just can't wait to go to heaven and face my heavenly Father and hear Him tell me "Well done, my good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21). But when I'm standing in the middle of the crowd in school, fear comes. Ended up not being able to reach out because of fear. :|

Fear is absence of faith. Where has my faith gone to? Where oh where? ; When faith is tested and proven, it is true faith. Well, from here onwards, my faith has been tested but yet to be proven. :| Now for who always claim to have faith, there's your test. (: And now abide faith, hope, love these 3....(1 Corinthians 13:13)

My equation:

Without hope, faith is not necessary anymore because you don't need the use of it. But 1 value can bring on all 3 values together which is LOVE Y But I'll talk about this topic next time. (:

To go and make a difference and make disciple of all nations, Faith is important and really can take you a long way. And It will not happen if we stay in our comfort zone and not moving. We have to GO out of our comfort zone and reach out if we seek revival!

Now before we GO, shall we check our faith tanks and see if it full or not?(: A car can't move without fuel and a Christian can't GO without faith. It'll get you nowhere without it. The fuel of faith is really important in our Christian walk to finish our race. As apostle Paul has said

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished the race , I have kept the faith."

-2 Timothy 4:7

So are you ready? (:

Faith

Checked? Tested? Proven?

If yes, It's time to get moving on the road and start the race!

Ready, Set,

GO!

Love,

SiJin. (:

I'm back to blogging. :D

2010-07-17T18:59:00.002+08:00

Just a little notice. (:

I'm back to blogging, IF i have time that is.

Scouts has been okay, but what I'm not happy about is

the way the counsel members treat us and they have it all fun themselves. :

i heard that it wasn't like that last year. :(

CF is still awesome and cool! :D

Not attending olahraga nowa-months.

Hehehe.

Church has been awesome and hot! :D

Filled with the presence of God. (:

And as you all know, I don't do my homework in the past,

BUT!

I have started to do ALL my homework now

(apart from sivic. :X)

C'mon! How many of you guys finish ALL your homework?

HAHA.

PROUD! :P

Lastly, just to update I'm going through spiritual-dryness now.

-NOT FUN!-

Depressed and bad mood 24/7 . (:

xo. Y