好久不见啦！

有没有看过我用华文写的部落格啊？我其实有好多东西想写啦，但是有些已记不起来了。今年，二零一二年，我就决定要用华文学部落格了！哈哈，惊讶吧？我呢，至于为什么要这样做是因为要习惯用华文写作，准备着下两年要读的高中的华文。

我也是心血来潮才做了这个决定的啦。应该是因为最近看了太多台湾偶像剧吧？哈哈，总之呢，以后多要开始习惯读华文的部落格咯！

我想对我不会读华文的读者们说对不起呀！I'm sorry! >< 但我想我也不会有多少读者啦，但如果有请继续回来读我的部落格啦！我是非常感谢你的！

说到这里，我也最后想要说声抱歉！因为我的华文其实也不好啦，但我也现在开始要努力进步了！

好啦，就到这儿。已经凌晨五点了！晚安！:)

God

He is just the most wonderful. :) the most beautiful God. One and only. I'm not ashamed of the Gospel Lord! I will never stop praising. Oh, lovely God, You are my freedom, Jesus You're the reason I'm kneeling again at Your throne. :') I love You Jesus.

Another passge.

***

Matthew 13

The Parable of the Sower

 ¹ That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. ² Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. ³ Then he told them many things in parables, saying:“A farmer went out to sow his seed. ⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. ⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. ⁹ Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

 ¹⁰ The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”

 ¹¹ He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. ¹² Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. ¹³ This is why I speak to them in parables:

   “Though seeing, they do not see;
   though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

   ¹⁴ In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:

   “‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
   you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
¹⁵ For this people’s heart has become calloused;
   they hardly hear with their ears,
   and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
   hear with their ears,
   understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’^[a]

   ¹⁶ But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. ¹⁷ For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

   ¹⁸ “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: ¹⁹ When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. ²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. ²² The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. ²³ But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

***

I always love when God uses the Bible to speak to me. I really don't know why but it just means a lot more then just typically "feel" like that's what God is saying. But this time God lead me to this chapter and the verse that hit me was

²⁰ The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 

The verse pretty much reminded me of myself. All the time I'm like that, and I realized that what this parable mean is not just where you sow your seed (seed as in your offering), but also the condition of your heart when you come before God. It revealed so much to me that when I change my heart and be the "good soil" doors will be opened and all the seeds I have planted is going to bloom. By seed I meant my building funds, pledges and offerings. The Bible says all about the 30 fold, 60 fold or even 100 fold return, but I've been waiting for the return but it never returns. I just thank God I still believe my day will come. Faithfully sowing la. Still, sometimes I feel like I'm pledging myself into debts. But I never realized what was the problem until that day God showed me. It was my heart towards God. I don't wanna be the rocky ground. 

***

Secondly, I'm like the most known obsessed Bieber fan among everyone I know. Even the other Bieber fans don't talk about him as much as I do. People start telling me to not make Bieber like the focus of my life. Of course I say Bieber is not the focus of my life! I'm not that silly to make someone I don't even know personally the centre of my life. I thought that to myself. So many of my friends told me to always put God above all else. Of course I agreed! Cause I didn't think I'd be so silly to love Bieber more than God. Then recently it hit me. That way I defend Bieber, the way I talk about Bieber, the amount of times I talk about Bieber definitely is more than the amount of times I even just think of God. 

Very wrong. 

Convicted la. Repent. I know I sounds so silly. Loving a celebrity more than God is just plain dumb. But it happened to me. I'm sorry God. So I'm going on a fast. A Bieber fast. LOL. I know, I still sound silly. But I think it's necessary for me. To learn to be independent of Bieber. LOL! So from tomorrow onwards I shall not even speak of Bieber or even listen to Bieber songs. Arghh.. gona be tough but I will persevere. Hehe.

***

Anyway, today is one of the most unproductive day I have ever had! I'm so bored and I'm starting to get restless!! I even googled, "meaningful things I can do for God" I know, I know. Pretty weird. Yeah thanks. But I'm surprised no one came up with an idea of writing down meaningful things for people can do for God each day! Because when I googled it, nothing relevant came up! So I think, I'll be the first to start posting "meaningful things for people can do for God" every morning when I wake up in.... TUMBLR! :D Yay! We'll see when I'll launch this thing la. Hehehe. 

I think that's all I have for today, at least I produced a blog post today! Thanks for reading. Good bye! :) 

Slave in Christ

Dear diary, 

Y 6 DAYS NO PASS BY SLOW SLOW ?!

***

Hello, I am back to share with you what I learned in camp. :) 

So on the first day what Marianne shared was really thought provoking. She said we are all SLAVES of God. We are all usually used to the word servant which sounds a little better than the word slave. But, eventually I got used to the word. So I posted a status about it when I came home. 

What Marianne shared was that the truth is we should not call ourselves leaders! Because there is only 1 true leader which is Jesus Christ. Well, needless to say the word "slave" got people's attention. Honestly, even I didn't like the word. But the whole idea of being a slave is to be humble and to be totally submissive to God. Serving with a humble heart that we know we are serving God and serving others. :) Well, more than just a servant because we belong to God. :) 

slave

   [sleyv]  Show IPA noun, verb, slaved, slav·ing.

noun

1.

a person who is the property of and wholly subject toanother; a bond servant.

2.

a person entirely under the domination of some influence orperson: a slave to a drug.

Well, now being a slave doesn't seem so bad? A person who is the property of and wholly subject to God. And a person entirely under the domination of God's influence or just plainly God.

Doesn't sound that bad, right? But as much as we get to choose whether we are a servant of God, we also got the freedom of choice, whether we are a slave of God.

What Marianne said really convicted me to follow closely to Christ. She said

" It's either you are a slave to righteousness if not you know who you are a slave to la. [the devil] " 

It made me make a firm decision to be Holy. :P sounds so funny la, but true. :3

The sessions reminded me of the importance of the Gospel. Like, why are we Christians? What are we living for? It really reminded me a lot of the basics. Loving your neighbour, citizenship in heaven, life's purpose and God's awesomeness. Well, this camp reminds us about the basic things that we have forgotten or just neglected. Nevertheless, it was still very inspiring.

Well, this is as far as I can go so far. A little post on what I learn and there will be certainly more to come but I can't promise when it will be post up. bye! :)

NSCFL. :)

NSCFL 2011

I never expected this camp to be so awesome really. Until..

"Claire Ma Tzi Ying youu going? who else going?! :D seriously one of the best camps i've went! :]"

Well, that's one of the things that got me hyped up for camp. :) 

Packed and all that. Couldn't wait for camp. Was so nervous. Hehe. Anticipating what God has installed for me in this camp. The first day was just ok, just pass the border line. Honestly, I didn't really like camp on the first day but things started to improve. Loved each and every night session and everyday I would be looking forward for the post-mortem with the Michael Chang-s. :) Su Jian, our team coach is the best man! Every night he would have food waiting for us. Oreos, roller coasters, siew pau, and we demanded beef noodles! Su Jian told me he wanted to buy the beef noodles but his friend got stuck in the highway so tak jadi go buy for us. So nice right?! Haha. Would post a picture of him but I can't find his Facebook yet. 

Other than that, here are the list of my teammates:

Chai Tze Kwang

Lim Jay Yen

Sophia Liew

Jason Low

Daniel Chua

Jia Chi

Angelica

Zi Ying

WONG SI JIN (The cutest girl there. :D)

I really had fun there. Met new people, learnt new things. Mainly the thing that spoke to me most is to serve God with the heart of a slave. :) I went for a few different workshops and well, I learnt the heart of worship and how to evangelize. The unforgettable one was the worship workshop. Amazing, a real brand new experience in worshipping God.

this is Patrick Leong. :)

Patrick Leong is really a great worship leader. I would love to explain my worship experience with you but it's really just beyond what words can explain for me. Evangelism was good, learnt to evangelize even just through your fingers! :D

The first day, I met my group members and my roommate Akira! :D

And this is Akira! :D

After the whole camp I kind of regretted not being more sociable to make more friends. It's ok, I have next year's camp! Hehe. Anyway, the first few days I mostly stick to my own Seafield CF people.

This is Watson. :P

But Bryan Watson Cheng, our CF president made us disperse and go made new friends while our meals, as in sitting with people from other CF or YF. Even though I did sat with different people almost all my meals after that I didn't really make any friends. :/ Hmm, regret la. Should have tried harder. The few I can remember that I made friends through meals are... Joel, Jie Hui, Oon Hui, Jacelyn, Lucas, Ravern, Jacquelina, Yew Leung, Fern, Sarah and .. .. .. I don't remember already! Paiseh! :3 Can see how fail it was la, it's ok, I have next year! :) My last year already.

Oh oh oh! Btw, we celebrated Joshua's birthday at camp! It was fun planning the surprise for him. As the CF birthday coordinator, this is the third surprise I planned so far for the committee members. The first was Serene, Watson (:P) and now Joshua. Yeah, I admit I missed some committees' birthday but don't think you can expect me to remember everyone's birthday right? Sorry la, if I forgot your birthday, you are still so very special to me la hor. :3 anyway, we bought tons of junk food and stick little post it-s on the junk food as a little card for him. Hehe. There's a video on fb. Ah, go look for it yourself la. :P

Anyway......

And this our ever so handsome team leader. :)

Haha, no la. This is Tze Kwang and he has one of the most lamest jokes I have ever heard! He's really nice and I see great potential in him. :) A great friend to have. Hehe. Hope to see him some day soon.

But, the person that really made an impression was Lim Jay Yen! Haha. My group member. I remember one of the days I was bathing and Wen Ting was in the stall next to me. We were talking about him and I was telling her my impression of him, mana tau, outside the stalls, there was a girl named Beatrice. Hehe, yes, I found out who told him! :p she was his friend and told him about our conversation. I don't remember the exact conversation but, the main parts are

First impression : Bunny, Rabbit!

So that's Jay, and the one on top is Tarzan. :) 

Haha, but you got to agree with me that he somehow looks like a bunny. :P
 He's also a nice guy! :)
Yellow shirt, white specs and what not.

It was hilarious when he confronted me about it on the last day's breakfast. They thought I was talking about BARNEY! The purple dinosaur! Funny la. :) But, he really is a nice person apart from the fact that he doesn't like Justin Bieber. :) Camp drama. xD But I must say he is my favourite person in camp la but I don't remember why. :P hehe. I fail yet again.

I would love to say more about what I learnt in the whole camp in detail but it would take me really long, so I'll just wrap everything up by saying it was the BEST . CAMP . EVER ! A great learning experience, and I absolutely love the people I met there. So nice. :B hehehe.

If any of my fellow campers are reading, let me just say I MISS YOU BANYAK. :'(

Alright, that's it for now. Will explain each session and what I learnt in new posts some other day.

Till then! 

To heck with being a caring human being.

Dear diary,
Today I'm fed up to the extreme limits.

***

I really don't know what to say and what I could say or how to explain this feeling. I'm just upset and angry and just plain FED UP.

Have you ever try to be caring for someone and ends up the person doesn't even give a crap about you? Like seriously?!

But, I really think I get over stuff a lil too easily. Really. OMG. I just can't stand ignoring someone that matters to me yet made me angry.

SiJin, get your butts together and do what you need to do.

Anyway, sorry for posting this little rant. I have much to rant about but the other posts are not public-friendly. One day la, when I find the time and the right words. I will post it up.

TO HECK WITH BEING A 
CARING HUMAN BEING!!!!!!

DIM GAI?!

Dear blog, 

today, I realized something. 

***

He's having a party and I'm invited. But, rehearsals and the party clashes. 

#dimgaimoments

I believe I look like this in my heart, seriously.

I'm so emo about this, I feel like crying. K, maybe not that bad, still, I'm very disappointed with this realization. "WHY?!" I was looking forward to it. Really, I was really really looking forward to it. You don't have any idea how disappointing it is to look forward to something so much and realize that you can't make it. 

It tears me apart. -.-

Anyway, what sucks more is darling Loveen Tan Tan, don't understand how I feel. :( 

#heartbreak. I'm not desperate darling. It's ok, I guess you might not really understand how it feels like. 

4 things.

Hello. :) I'm back. I feel this is the best way to express myself now. Blogging. I have 4 things to talk about.

First, today I went to church for a special midweek service with Pastor Robb Thompson. He's an AMAZING preacher. The last time he came I remember I was late and sat at the overflow. So I didn't really pay attention. Man, I MISSED OUT!

Pastor Robb talked to us about tithing and generosity these 2 days. Definitely changed my perspective on my money.

"Never EVER love money more than you love Jesus." 

I learned just SO SO SO much in these 2 days. God has been so real and Pastor Robb's teaching is just amazing. I just wish I could listen to his teaching every week. Can't wait till the next time he comes back.

"Do you have money, or does money have you? "

I've learned it really is hard to let go of your money. You may think you can give it ALL up for Christ, you give your time, your energy, but are you willing to give your money? I mean ALL of it. Also, I have learn that it truly is better to give than to receive, in other words, Better to meet a need, than to have a need. Reflecting on my past financial difficulties, I swore to myself, never again will I be the one who has the need.

Remember how when people give you offering challenges? They always mention sowing and reaping? give and it will be given back to you? Take giving at a different perspective now, when you have nothing left, you last cent in your pocket, when you give it, at the time you already don't need anything else but God. See, people in that kind of give every cent up for God situation, if they are willing to give up the last cent, what they want is no longer the return, but they just want God.

"When you give up your last penny to God, what you're saying is, the only thing I need is God now."

 Don't overestimate yourself, giving is not easy. Always have to stretch our faith and exercise our giving "muscle".

"If you don't feel uncomfortable when you're giving, you're not giving enough."

***

Second, today has been a rough day. Surprisingly the last day of school, was caught off guard. Will definitely miss my classmates. :/ But, that's not the point. After service, we had rehearsals for BGR sketch. 

I did do my best I can say honestly, but, there were many technical difficulties that we had to overcome but we weren't able to do it all by tonight. The whole sketch was pretty much not prepared cause our sketch depended on the media stuff a lot. 

Well, technical difficulties, first strike. Albert was really stress, second strike. Leader didn't make firm decisions, briefing and directions, last strike, and you're out! We all pretty much got scolded. Had a super sour face when Adrian talked to us, wasn't trying to conceal my sadness. I mean, what for I conceal it? Wanted to cry. Really sad la. But, it's ok, life isn't a bed of roses, everything will get better. :)

***

Third, planned sleepover and it turned out great, we said we wanted 40 people, indeed 40 turned up even though we really didn't expect it to happen. :) 

This has been a real learning experience. Next time will definitely know better of how to plan things. 

These 2 months has really been a month of learning. 

1) Leaders listen to your members, they can always help you out.

2) While planning something event or whatever, brief EVERYONE that is involved about how and when and what is going to happen. 

3) Only God can make everything work.

4) etc. So much more that idk how to explain.

Basically, God is always faithful and without Him nothing is possible. 

***

Lastly, after all seriousness, let's loosen up a bit. :) Shake it off, shake of the stress~~ 

Anyway, what imma talk about is something I've been thinking of blogging about it really long now. It's about this guy. *snicker snicker* Hehehehehehehe. 

Well, he's nice... but give me your views on this, he's not a Christian and you know I feel if I even do anything about this crush it's like betraying God. Yet people tell me I'm just a girl, in my teenage years, what can I do about all these raging hormones. Haha. Others say, if he loves you, he will follow you to church, yet, what I want is for him to love God that's why he goes to church rather than love me that's why go church. Maybe......

“A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
― Maya Angelou

Would be nice to choose God over a guy, but it's hard. Who do I want? Jesus or him? He is earthly and mortal but Jesus is for eternity and definitely loves me more. Jesus is the right choice, but temptation. *shakes head* I WANT GOD. I WANT GOD. GOD GOD GOD GOD. To want and need God ONLY is hard. A challenge but I will try.

What do you want in this life? Can you choose to want God more than anything else?

"If someone loves you, that person ought to want you."

Same goes if you love God. :)

***

All comes down to God. Jesus be the centre of it all. To want God the most, to love God the most and even to praise God in down times. :)